County Homes, Nursing Homes, Assisted Living are creations of generations in the USA. I refer to it in many cases of ‘warehousing the aged’.
It is something that is misused, miss understood, maligned but something that fills a much needed VOID in life. It can be sad or a joy.
Woody just posted a sad story. WE have an aged friend. She has two daughters. One daughter chose to keep her mom at home is now alienated from her sister. I have even heard the term, ‘she is evil now.’ Of course these decisions should be made as a family. Problems ironed out and guidelines set that all can live with. In this world we now have good families torn part because of strong willed, unbending people. When there is a disagreement families should be able to sit down and work it out. The parent would be hurt to the core to know their children were starting to ‘hate’ each other.
Quick background: In my lifetime I visited many nursing homes in ministry and entertaining. I saw old people tied in wheelchairs, heads drooping, drooling and the smell of urine permeated the places. That was my lasting impression)
I am no authority, but WE are experienced. I made a bad decision about my mama. The Dr. said “Your mama needs to be in a nursing home.” That raised my temperature immediately, I saw and smelled a nursing home. Instead of being reasonable and looking into the possibilities I immediately said, “My mama will NEVER go into a nursing home.”
That was a terrible mistake. There was NO trouble in mama’s family over it. BUT no matter the strength of the ties, moving ANYONE into your home develops unseen problems. You learn soon this is not the age of the ‘Waltons’. It is more complex.
Hopefully some advance planning can prevent many problems.
We told our sons, NEVER take us into your home. When we cannot care for ourselves, put us in a nice place and come when you can. We lived our lives, you need to live you own.
PS: The Oxymoron for today: