Wednesday, June 20, 2018

An Education I did not need!

Historical Photo:

 (fulfilling a dream as a singer, she actually started singing country western with a band after losing her husband, she was quite good.)
I am still here.
Getting older we learn a lot of things. Shirl got on my case years ago, “Jack, write your obituary. Most people wait too late and it must be done on the spur of the moment.”
So I did!

Now what do I find in her written instructions?  There is no obituary, she has destroyed it. Instead she writes: Tell no one I have died. No service. DO NOT put it in the paper. Have Tallent Funeral home cremate me. Then spread my ashes on Jim’s grave!  Period….

Some of you have been through this. So I say: “Shirl, it ain’t as simple as that!” 

PLUS prices are strange, normal burials are from $4,000 to $20,000.  I remember reading cremations at $500. Now, the Funeral home charges $1800 just for the cremation. I understand that is in the ‘ball park’.  In talking to the granite service that will add the death date to the stone, Cremations are 40% and burials are 60%. They expect it to be 50-50% next year.

Opening a grave in Charlotte is now $2000 in addition to the cost of the plot (Of course we will not ‘open’ her plot). “So, Dang it Shirl I don’t need this education. You should have stuck around a few more years!”

Hey, a copy of a birth certificate at the courthouse is $1.50. The copy of a ‘Death Certificate’ is $10 purchased ‘only’ thru the Funeral home. It is suggested, order 20 copies. I ordered five!  I betcha imma find out if I can get them at the courthouse!  LOL

The above is just a part of it as you that have experienced it, know.

 (On her 80th BD, the local Seniors gave her a surprise party, and made her queen)

Have you ever thought of the person who will come into your private area and decide what goes and where? For years now my sister has told me, “Jack I am getting rid of all this stuff, I do not want anyone going thru my private things!”  (Right Shirl, you should have stuck around long enough to have done it)

I have run across some neat stuff:
One short note about her young secretary’s life:
“When Dee and I took an apartment in Charlotte we could hardly afford the rent. We ate eggs every meal and took egg sandwiches to work. Once we did eat out. The crowd was pretty big. Dee noticed the bathroom names were moveable. When several people were in each one, we switched the names. It was hilarious when others entered!” (sounds like her).

(And then she was once Minnie Pearl)

Maybe more when I get a break. Thanks for stopping by.

Nite Shipslog


jack69 said...

Shirl's death is really an education. We still cannot believe she is gone. Sherry insists in keeping the house as Shirl had it. I keep telling her, it is your house again. I built this for us, remember?
I am really doing this to get alerts for any comments. As suggested by Lisa and Chatty me thinks.

betty said...

Those were all great pictures of Shirl. Its expensive to die, isn't it? Maybe more so than being born? And of course you have to have the death certificate for this and for that and of course it can't be a copy you make, etc. I kind of go with Shirl's thinking. I'm not sure I want an obit or a memorial service, etc., but I'm thinking people eventually are going to be asking about her?


jack69 said...

Oh yes Betty, folks are asking already of course. I had to haul Shirl's old TV's to the dump today. They will not pick them up at the curb anymore. It costs $4 each to throw them away. I might have aggravated my back, they weigh 500 lbs apiece (I think! LOL) ;-)

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

It is an education that none of us want for sure. You know I've been there and done that. Even years later I had to have a copy of my late husbands death certificate to change utilities when I moved as they were still in his name. Death is an expensive thing too. Nothing cheep about it at all. It cost me $3000 for the ambulance and hospital bill just so they could pronounce him dead. At the time we had no insurance either. Definitely not anything anyone of us wants, but still death is a part of life and the sooner we learn that the better off we'll all be. Sending lots of love and hugs to the two of you! We never stop learning.


unfortunately death is a part of life and at one point or another the living must deal with it.

Mevely317 said...

Oh Jack, what a storm you're walking through!
These are great pictures, indeed … the one reminiscent of "Queen for a Day" … remember that old TV show? I had to chuckle about Shirl not wanting a funeral; except, you've figured a way to eulogize her HERE!

This makes me think perhaps I do need to write an obit. That, and this morning I learned the 33 y/o niece of my classmate suffered a massive heart attack Monday night and today is expected to be taken off life support. Tomorrow's not promised to any of us, is it?

By the way, one of my blogging friends (Sandra) has figured a way to out-sleuth these comments challenges we're all experiencing. Here's a link. (I tried it, and it works!)

Lisa said...

Oh see, I know there are a lot more to this girl. She seemed like a fun charactor.
And for the record. You dont actually have to make a comment to get notifications. Just click on the little box in the comment section that says “notify me”.
But you are on the right track. Haha.

Hugs from over here

Jean said...

Beautiful pictures of Shirl, she was a beautiful lady. I said the same thing she said in her obit to some of my children after Grover passed away, if I don't write an obituary before I pass I will be cremated. I might change my mind, that is if I don't wait too long. I’ve been doing away with things letting the children have some things they wanted of their dads. I don’t think I have anything I’d would care for them going through it would just give them something (plenty) to do. I only bought three death corticates the funeral notified some places and the ones I had to use one at they gave it back to me. Take care, Jean

Chatty Crone said...

Jack - this is funny - Rick and I went to where our grave sites are located and talked to Daniel last week about what else we needed.

Ohvey the cost. Thousands of dollars if you are going to be buried the regular way.

Rick and i decided to be cremated for sure. I kind of hate it, but that is all we can afford. Then they want an extra $3000 just to put two people in one grave. We might just get scattered somewhere.

Her change in the note about obituaries was after her mind started going - there was a fear there.

She was sooooooooooooo beautiful. And she had quite the sense of humor. I wish I had known her.

I am reading emails now, but I learned how to fix the email issue. So remind me if I forget to send it to you.

Dar said...

Yes, Shirl was a beautiful gal and had a sweet sense of humor. The millions of memories she gave you will never leave your hearts. I love all the gorgeous photos of her. As for funerals, death certificates, etc., before death it's just something we don't want to think about resolving but I see we should be prepared to some degree, if for no other reason than to relieve the kids of the duty. and YES, you can get death certificate copies at the courthouse from the clerk of courts. In WI, they are $10 for the first one and $7, if I remember right, for each one after that ON the day you buy the original. Otherwise they cost more...even the courthouse makes their money.
Our prayers are with you always
love n'hugs from up north where summer has begun on this longest solstice day

Woody said...

Sounds like you are having a rough time, I was really down when I lost my Oldest Brother John then shortly another Brother Passed away, my Brother Donny passed, he was my Mentor teaching me the things needed to know. Also my closest friend Mike has passed away. There comes a point in your life when you realize Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore...And who always will..

God doesn't give you the people you want,
He gives you the people you NEED.
To help you, to love you and to make
you into the person you were meant to be.
Take care,
Gary & Anna Mae

Glenda said...

OMG, my heart is broken in tiny little pieces, Jack. I LOVE y'all and want so badly to hug you and Sherry. I will be where you are when "Irna Mee" passes, those people that took over her life set up a plan for her funeral and I don't even know wwhere to put poinsettias or lilies. I sent you a card, will be planting a Meyer Lemon tree in your Deltona yard to celebrate Shirl's life, I hope you two enjoy, at the very least, a decade of juicy, sweet lemons.
Love and warm hugs from Chobee.
Google Keith Urban "Blue Ain't Your Color"

Sheila Y said...

Love seeing the pics of Shirl. She was a beautiful lady. You knew she had a sense of humor from her comments she wrote. I’m glad I got to know you all through this blogger world. I will remember her always. Love from Florida, Sheila