Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Slimulus Plan & the Rancher


Nah, not claiming poverty just like to know I am paying my share. LOL
Get ready for excitement..............

‘Tis the funniest thing, I think I will cry. My Sherry has an IRA. She got a notice that she would have to start withdrawing it this year, (something about age????!!!). So we being law abiding citizens filled out the paper work and the money started pouring in, $87 a month. Now that ain’t nothing to sneeze at. It will pay for my Bryl crème, haircuts, comb and sunglasses. WE were enjoying our new found wealth and thinking 'how wonderful'. (But Jack hasn’t filed his income tax yet!)

Yesterday I finally got everything together that has been coming in for the past four weeks, from the hundreds of financial institutions with which we do business. Lol. I started on the stack, this goes here, that goes there,(I do everything in pencil first.)


Read carefully the following are typical of instructions for the tax forms:



On line three take half of line 2. Place it on line 4, if you are cross eyed or own a Shetland pony deduct 23.5 % (if it is a goat deduct 24%). Now multiply that amount by six and place it on line 23d (unless your hair is brown then place it on line 23e but subtract your age.) Now which is larger line 4 or 23e? place the larger on line 28b and erase what was online 2. Etc.



Now if you have read the calculations for our income taxes you know exactly what I am saying. Anyway the final results we owe about $700 tax.Sherry receives 12 x $78= $1044. She made $344 off that investment. I think this is part of the “SLIMULUS PLAN’. LOL.



I AIN’T NEVER liked tax-deferred stuff. Let me pay the tax now. Too late to sweat that stuff any longer I will never be young enough to purchase anything tax-deferred again.



Anyway I am not really fussing. Maybe the ‘Slimulus Plan’ will work on my stomach!!!!.


BUT It is good to have any extra money you can get. I just thought it is sort of a sick joke. Maybe next year it will be better.
Anyway happy tax filing time to you all!!!



NIte Shipslog
PS:
A bartender is just a pharmacistwith a limited inventory.

The statement below is true.


The statement above is false.


A man owned a small Ranch in Texas . The Texas Work Force Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.


"Well," replied the rancher, we will call him John, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."


"That's the guy I want to talk to ... the half-wit," says the agent.








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"That would be me," replied the John.

5 comments:

Paula said...

I've been drawing from my IRA for two years. Now that I'm spoiled to it they tell me it isn't mandatory I take any out for a year and it remains to be seen what will happen about that next year. Are they trying to confuse me? Lol @ the joke.

Shirl 72 said...

You are making me anxious about getting my taxes
filled out. It is so complicated I can't even understand enough to read the form. You don't
even know if the one filling the forms out know
what they are doing. Will they ever be simple?
I can answer that question NEVER. They have us
just where they want us. Everytime I get my
bank statement I would not be surprised if they
had written a check from my account.

Shsirl

Shirl 72 said...

I know my name is Shirl, upset me talking about
taxes.

Shirl

Sheila said...

Now don't you go spending Sherry's money all on yourself...I want to see proof of the haircut and comb when you get it...ha. Take care, Sheila

Sheila said...

Oh, and I got 'Rags' today. Thanks, Sheila