Things do not happen as they should

I am not counting words tonight, but I want to tell you something I have learned. We came home with a simple objective: take over sister's finances,  Put all her bills on auto-pilot (online direct payments) hire whatever was necessary  to allow her to stay in her home until her passing. The last time we had seen Shirl (last fall) she was still topping trees and jumping fences at 81 years old.

When we got home it was obvious things had changed, dementia has settled in. I still had hope. We hired a company 'Visiting Angels' to assist. Then the first set back, Blood clot on the wall of a heart chamber and a small leak of blood in the brain.

A lot intervened sister went down hill. She refused to eat and drink, Using the same statement, "I'm okay, I will eat later." Sherry fixed many meals, some we thought she eaten, but she had not ? (They were in her freezer.)

THE  WORST NIGHT/DAY OF OUR LIVES. I learned we could never be her caregivers so we decided on a 'facility for her'. The supervisor and her nurse came out. (The best I could figure Shirl had been without food and water for 4-5 days.)  My thinking at this point, "Everyone eats when they get hungry or drinks when they get thirsty."  Ignorant on my part.  I was not thinking of 'her primary organs'.

The nurse (Tamika) said, "This lady needs to go to the emergency room in the morning.  I would say NOW, but it would be a long night for you guys and she will be just as well in the AM."

In the AM, after Sherry's report, her doctor said call 911.  WE Did.  That is when the FUN(?) started.

Shirl had been in her recliner for 24+ hours, unable to get up. I calmly talked to her and said the EMT's were coming to take her to the hospital. Her constant response was, "Can't they take care of me here? I am not going anywhere, I DO NOT HAVE TO GO!"

She absolutely refused to listen to the EMTs. Both of them tried to explain to her, but she refused to move. Twice they tried to lift her and she SCREAMED, NO NO! I am not leaving. This went on for over an hour. We have a sweet neighbor that Shirl loves. She came over and tried to help, to no avail. The EMT's called their supervisor.  They talked to me privately saying they could not take her against her will. They calmly told Shirl that they would call the police to assist in her moving, all she did was say loudly I don't have to go anywhere.

She yelled and screamed at me, "Jackie, please , please, let me stay here in my chair."
Finally I had to tell the EMT's " I am invoking my Health POA, I AM HER!  Take her."

  EMT said there is a test I must give her first.

You   guys probably know this. The questions are simple.  What day is it? Who is the President? etc. Then they took her to the ambulance screaming and kicking, raising her balled fists (She is 117 lbs soaking wet!)

I rode in the ambulance with her. This is where you could have pushed me over with a feather.  She started joking and talking with the EMTs, On the ride to the hospital she was her old self. NO PROBLEMS. She does not remember the incident of refusal.

I felt like a complete crap head, even though I knew it was dementia.  Bottom line is, the Doctors said she would have probably died if we had delayed another day, her kidneys were operating at less than 2%.

She has been in the hospital two days now and the kidneys are up to 5%.

I must tell you, dementia STINKS !!

Nite Shipslog

PS:
She is in the dog house. The preacher came to see her and when he walked in she said, "Oh shit!"
Our pastor told her, "I am upset with you because you can say that and I can't!"

Thanks for stopping by. I do not expect any comments.