A picture from life.
For Today:
My doubts persisted; I
prayed and remembered I had men of God over me. I knew If I told them I had a problem
they will pray with me of course, BUT I TOLD GOD if He was real YOU tell them, So that When
I talk to my Overseers and they will look at me and say, ‘Bro Jack you have a
problem don’t you?’ I will give YOU all I have, I will work harder than I ever
have, BUT if YOU, GOD, don’t show them this, I give up!”
At the meetings, Both Overseers just looked at me as we talked and bragged on me saying
how well I was doing at New Hope, etc.
My fleece proved to me there was no God.
I became an Atheist, Oh yeah, in hindsight
I was VERY STUPID and INMATURE. BUT THAT
IS HINDSIGHT.
This
was out of the blue to Sherry. That was mid-week.
I told Sherry I was resigning Sunday and turning in my license. There was no
God and I Refuse to preach what I do not believe. Unlike many things I have
done in our lives she could not believe this one. She said, “You really don’t
mean what you just said.” BUT I DID! I
resigned.
In a week or so we bought a
house from Sherry’s Brother for $3000.
I did not want to hurt my dad and the people in our church
whom I loved. So I made up this story I was going to follow for awhile. “I’m resigning
to go back to School,” I attended
college and studied Civil Engineering; all the time feeling that I would return
to the military. Sherry was still working, The VA was paying for the schooling
and I was doing odd jobs.
I
continued to attend church with Sherry regularly. Because She is a patient dedicated lady
WE continued to support the church with Tithe and offerings, even though I did
not believe a word I heard.
I completed a couple quarters in school then joined the USN. I enjoyed
my jobs in the Navy and Sherry worked Civil Service. That girl never gave up on
me but prayed for me daily. She never
fussed at me and loved me like I was still ME.
Years later in church as I sat there, God broke his silence and said to me, “I have
missed you. Don’t you think it is time to come back home?”
In
the middle of the service I got up, and started from the pew, my girl thought I
was leaving church. I went to the alter knelt and asked God to forgive my ignorance
and give me another chance to make it right. HE DID!
Sorry to be so long, but If I don’t finish this I probably won’t. I have
done a lot of soul searching. I should never have been a pastoring
minister. I had a gift for children’s
ministry to which I returned.
We were always a team, Sherry with the lights and sound as I did Children’s
churches, Youth Camps, Boy Scouts and vacation Bible Schools. We even made it
to NY City and Canada. Life is good, God is BETTER!
NiteShipslog
PS: I never told anyone I had lost my belief in God except
Sherry. There were a lot of questions why I left a growing church. The pay was
good and getting better but I could NEVER stand behind a pulpit and say some thing
I did not believe. Thank you for your
patience.
5 comments:
I think its natural for us to loose faith and belief sometimes. I’m glad you listen to God that day and came back.
I can imagine how Sherry must of felt when you told her that but I see her keeping her cool knowing this will be short lived.
Nite
Lisa
thank you for sharing that part of your life and how Sherry loved no matter what. I enjoyed this testimony of salvation.
Too many things here to comment on, Jack. best off-line maybe.
First of all, you are very lucky to have Sherry as a wife standing by you through all this. Surely, this is a sign that God really loves you. He kept her there to keep an eye on you.
Often people wander away from the Faith. God allows them too but keeps a check on them. When I go to the park I let my dog off the lead. he runs here and there and everywhere feeling free. I let him. Eventually, he comes to his senses and comes back to me. God knew you'd come back. You were , (and still are), too good to lose. God is not in the business of losing His followers. He got you back. Thank Him for this every day.
Praying for y'all. God bless.
I think that is so true. God will never let go of you. Sherry has been a blessing in your life. I have found that prayer is the best way. The love of God will always see you through whatever happens. Still bitter cold here, but a warm up is coming !
What a wonderful post -- candid and no excuse-making. Like others have expressed, Sherry is a Real Blessing; (I know YOU know that.) I wonder how many others have experienced what you did, but never spoke about it.=-
Not all that many years ago my son confessed he had experienced a crisis of faith after my father -- his hero -- passed suddenly. I don't know that he quit believing; rather he was enormously angry. Not until 10+ years had passed -- suddenly and without warning -- he was travelling down a busy highway in Germany and had to pull over for the grief that had overtaken him. Through tears, he kept repeating, "God, I'm so sorry. So sorry, God." He's not a church goer, but a Believer who prays every day.
Thank you for sharing this piece of your life's story!
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