Oprah and me

Sometimes it get confusing for me, not knowing what is being said, but I manage to fix it big time. Oprah was real sweet. I don't know when it will run. LOL See paula, I know some famous folk.

Every book that is published, the author gets the same junk mail. The one that always strikes me is ‘Be on Oprah, sell millions of books in a few weeks’.
Quote, “We have helped literally thousands of writers appear on major networks, TV and Radio.”
Okay, the only catch for me to appear on Oprah is, I must send the guy $4000 and then he will start working for me.
Now like everything else you have to look at all the print. Down in small type is plainly written if you have a magnifying glass: “results advertised are not typical”. Shoot and I was on my way until I read that. I was imagining my conversation:
O:” Well Jack, how does it feel to be on national TV to tell about Sticky and Rags?”
Me: “Huh?”
O: “It is about Sticky & Rags.”
Me: “I’m sorry Miss Oprah, I don’t hear well but yes at his age my skin does sag, but I expected that. Oh did you read my book about Sticky?”
O: “Yes I did, I was wondering why didn’t you say Sticky was Black?”
Me. “ I did say he was back, didn’t you read in the forward of Rags, Sticky is back!”
O: “No, Jack I said Black, STICKY IS LIKE ME.”
Me: “Oh no, Miss Oprah, he isn’t nothing like you. He’s not even half as purty.”
O: “Let me put this way, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL THE READERS HE WAS BLACK?”
Me: “Oh that is simple, when I don’t want to take responsibility for something, I ask my friends on the internet, what they think. I got what I considered solid advice from a friend in Alabama, who said I should wait until the next book.”
O: “Well don’t you think your readers should know what Sticky is?”
ME: “We worked off and on together for a few years, and he never told me, I thought it was a secret.”
O: “How could a thing like THAT BE A SECRET?”
ME: “What?”
O: “Him being Black?”
Me: “OH, I thought I told you, it wasn’t a secret, everybody in Belmont knew he was back. Sticky never hid that.”
O: “ Cut, folks take three days off. Mr. Darnell what do you think?
ME: “Oh I thought Sticky was Black all the time, but he never said.”
O: “No I mean about the INTERVIEW!”
Me: “Shoot I am ready anytime, when do you want to start?”
O: “Good bye Mr. Darnell, I am going to have a drink.”

Now I think she has put it off for a few weeks, I expect another call anytime.
I figure $4000 more might do the trick with that publicist guy.
NIte ShipsLog
PS:
Sometimes too much to drink............. isn't enough.
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In just two days from now,............tomorrow will be yesterday.