Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I have had it!

Have you ever said , “That is it, it is enough!”
I mean when you get so over weight you say, I have had it, I am losing this weight.
If you find yourself drinking a little too much, you say, I Quit!
You buy a pack of cigarettes, look down and say, enough, I quit.

I have held the dream of seeing a family restored. The divorce was mean. The reason was and was not justified. (if that makes any sense). I was told (by one kin to the In-law) that the marriage was over before the actual problem that broke the camel’s back. I am the hopeless romantic. I thought there was a chance, this can work. I held this dream of my ‘daughter in law’, the one who we really thought of as our daughter, would return to the family. We loved her as the daughter we never had. I admired her ability in the work place, she was successful. She is a beautiful woman. Shucks I wanted her back.

Our grandson Matt graduated this week. That is a family thing I think. I was disappointed that when the one I dreamed of returning to our family, brought her new boy friend. In a way I am glad. I can now wipe that dream out.

It is senseless to hope for something that is not going to happen. I was disappointed she did not fight for custody of her sons. I could not believe it. It was a shock. A lot of stuff went on as in any divorce, but this one was nasty. I still held on to the dream that ‘MY’ daughter in law would return to our fold. But this week, I settled within myself.’ Buddy-roe this ain’t gonna happen.’ She is happy away from your family and your son, you need to forget it and get on with life. So this week I am saying, I have had it. It was a beautiful dream but that is what it was, a dream. Now it has been put to bed. I sure love that girl though, the mother of Reece, Matt and Luke. I guess that is life. I am not saying she should not find happiness some place else, everyone has a right to happiness, I was just hoping it would be back at her old home.

And for sure our son is not blameless (I am not that ignorant), but he still cannot deal with the fact ‘She is Gone forever’.

So some parts of life I hate; some parts I accept. Finally I can accept this one, but it ain’t no fun!

This entry ain’t no fun but I had to make it to get it off my chest. Now there I have said it. IT is OVER!

Now again, Jack put the Serenity Prayer into action.

Thanks for letting me bore you with my heart, log, this is where I can say that I am hurt and relieved. Now if our son will start acting like a human again I can relax some.

Nite Shipslog
PS:
Next to Cancer, Divorce is the meanest word in the English language. Everyone hurts.

11 comments:

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I agree with you on that one. I've never seen a good divorce happen. It is tough when one that you thought was a part of your family forever suddenly is not. I've a grand daughter who I've not seen in almost 12 years because her mom decided she no longer wanted to be a part of the family. I've 2 others that I haven't seen in a few years either because their mom also made the same decision. Sad thing is that it was with the same son. He had some bad times for sure. Now he's trying again a 3rd time and I do hope and pray this one works cause it would be really bad for him if it happens again. All we can do is hope and pray. I like your serenity prayer and say I often.

ρομπερτ said...

With a brother and his two childs away, because she found someone else, this surely was felt. Guess however that dreaming can't ever be stopped, you might just like to try to stop breathing. Wishing you a good nights sleep and a wonderful Wednesday as well.

Jen said...

Maybe she will yet return but in a different capacity...as mother to your grandchildren and a friend, just not a daughter-in-law. Your son has to get over the divorce before that can happen, though. I hope things get better soon.

That corgi :) said...

I'm sorry, Jack and Sherry, because I know you are mourning the loss of your dream that maybe the marriage could be restored and seeing it isn't going to happen, I'm sure is hard to take. divorce is a very ugly word indeed, and like I said before, I know what God hates it because of what it does not previously in love men and women; how it rips them and families apart (and not just the kids, but extended families as well). it is sad that your former DIL chose to bring her boyfriend to an event like this. Not that she didn't have the right to, but taking all things into consideration, I think the "right" thing would have been to go to the graduation alone and enjoy the special evening of your grandson and allow him to have that moment to shine without the added drama. But maybe that is just my opinion. I'm so sorry about it all........

betty

Shirl 72 said...

I agree with Betty Graduation is no place for
a boyfriend. He is not family and this was a 12 year event the family had been waiting to see.
Social Gracious was not followed. That was so
inconsiderate. As much as she says she loved you and Sherry I am surprised she caused the added drama. It was a family affair with her
Son's moment to shine. I am shocked. Thought she had more class. She has three wonderful
children that I love very much. I pray she will
find it in her heart to know her children would
like a happy home.

Shirl

Sheila said...

I know of what you speak...it's a very sad thing. Even more so when children are involved. I hope your shoulder is feeling better. Take care, Sheila

Fred Alton said...

Jack, divorce is awful. I've heard it said "It's a fate worse than death" because in death you bury the partner and they are no longer around. In divorce, it's as if there had been a death - but then the "dead" keep coming around to remind you of all the pain. I have two daughters who have had divorces so can empathize with you. We cannot make the choices for the kids, so, like you, I just came to a point where I said "enough" of me worrying myself sick over it. That's when I "turned it over to God" so to speak. It's much easier this way. Life is better now for them - and for us!

LYN said...

THIS MADE ME TEAR UP...DIVORCE IS SOOOOO UGLY...I HOPE YOU COME TO SOME SORT OF PEACE NOW JACK...

Dar said...

Oh boy, have you hit a nerve. There has been so much unhappiness in our family again, this spring. Two of my boys are feeling what your son is going through. Life is so full of change, some of which can be fixed, some not. One of the boys says, "It is what it is.", the other is still trying to "hang on". I agree with Fred about it being a fate worse than death. I felt that way when my first marriage fell apart because I thought I was still in love. It hurt. Then, I turned it over to God, cause there was no way of fixing it, and, lo and behold, a couple yrs. later, I found Bill or we found each other, again. We knew each other from high school. Life IS full of changes.
What your DIL did was VERY wrong timing. She was thinking selfishly, and not of her own son.
She's making bad choices that will catch up to her...I'm always so distraught over any parent who does not fight for their children. God be with the little ones. You, Sherry, their Daddy and the rest of your loving family will surely show them all the love in the world.
So sorry for your pain. I tearfully understand.
BlessYourHearts and YourSonandHisChildrensHearts
JesusLovesTheLittleChildren, and us big ones

Sayit-baldys said...

JACK, REGARDLESS OF THE REASONS FOR A DIVORCE, IF TRUE LOVE IS NOT THERE, WHY CONTINUE ?
'SEX ATTRACTION' IS NOT A DIRTY EXPRESSION, THO CAN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP TO 'DIVORCE'.

IF ONLY PEOPLE COULD TAKE TIME TO DETERMINE IF SINCERE LOVE PLUS THE SEX ATTRACTION IS THERE.

SO MANY YOUNG FOLKS ARE NOT RECEPTIVE TO ADVICE FROM MATURE ONES THAT CAN SEE A 'TRAIN WRECK' COMING.

BETTER A DIVORCE WITH IT'S AWFUL PAIN THAN A CATASTROPHY THAT INVOLVES CRIMINAL ACTION. sam

Lucy said...

As you know I have been divorced and widowed. I feel that divorce was harder for me at that time,with death no matter how many times you want them back you can not accept it at first and you think you hear their car or you think it is about time to fix dinner. Lee will be home soon. It doesn't take to many times of that and reality hits. With Divorce their is the constant see saw. Should we try again, maybe I was wrong and need to be a better wife and mother, and he remarried so soon how coulkd he have ever loved you. With death there is agony, raw feelings that make you feel like you will never be a whole person again. But, there is no choice. No one can fix antything for the couple. You just have to let it go. Life or death is is the hardest thing in both cases I ever have been through.