Wednesday, October 14, 2015

An Old Woman, More info on the Implant

 

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.

AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE

AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON

WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED,

"HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

"NO, I NEVER DID DANCE ... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

"WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

dancingaa

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF -- STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST

BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR.

shotguna

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED

AROUND VERY SLOWLY.  THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID,

"SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S REAR?"

images

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID,

"NO M'AM ... BUT... I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO."

THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

3- Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.

* * *** ** ** ** *** ** ** *** ** ** ***** ** *** ** ** ***

Now yesterday I heard my first bird in 20 years. GOOD

Also yesterday, I got too close to some steel and went deaf! The magnet in the transmitting coil on the implant decided it wanted to be with the steel more than my head. There it was hanging behind me.

BAD Winking smile 

Nite Shipslog

PS:

I know the joke is old, but I needed a laugh!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<V>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

1953 FORD X-100

‘53 Ford X100

7 comments:

Paula said...

Hope you enjoyed the bird and many more to come.

betty said...

Definitely a learning curve for you for sure!

Betty

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

What a blessing. 20 years is a long wait to hear a bird sing, but they do say all good things are worth waiting for. Remembering to keep away from steel is going to be a trick but no fun at all when you have a magnet on your head. Take care!

Mevely317 said...

Oh wow, I wonder if they'll ask you to remove the coil when you arrive at the airport? I'll bet y'all are getting excited!

Glenda said...

Great story!!!

Jean said...

Great story I enjoyed reading it. Right, never mess with an old women.(smile)

Rick Watson said...

Now that's a funny joke I don't care who you are.