SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE
AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON
WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED,
"HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"
"NO, I NEVER DID DANCE ... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."
"WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.
THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF -- STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST
BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.
THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED
AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.
THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID,
"SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S REAR?"
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID,
"NO M'AM ... BUT... I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO."
THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:
1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
3- Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.
* * *** ** ** ** *** ** ** *** ** ** ***** ** *** ** ** ***
Now yesterday I heard my first bird in 20 years. GOOD
Also yesterday, I got too close to some steel and went deaf! The magnet in the transmitting coil on the implant decided it wanted to be with the steel more than my head. There it was hanging behind me.
BAD
Nite Shipslog
PS:
I know the joke is old, but I needed a laugh!
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‘53 Ford X100
7 comments:
Hope you enjoyed the bird and many more to come.
Definitely a learning curve for you for sure!
Betty
What a blessing. 20 years is a long wait to hear a bird sing, but they do say all good things are worth waiting for. Remembering to keep away from steel is going to be a trick but no fun at all when you have a magnet on your head. Take care!
Oh wow, I wonder if they'll ask you to remove the coil when you arrive at the airport? I'll bet y'all are getting excited!
Great story!!!
Great story I enjoyed reading it. Right, never mess with an old women.(smile)
Now that's a funny joke I don't care who you are.
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