Funny thing about life. I was talking to my good friend Dallas the other day and the subject of ‘Tough Love’ came up. We bated it back and forth what we thought of the policy and he says to me, “Jack, I can use and enforce tough love to its final stage, with YOUR KIDS!”
We all had a good laugh at that, because we all KNOW that is the human’s nature: It is easy to tell someone what to do when we have no skin in the game, no responsibility if the advice falls flat.
If we are not careful, we will blame parents when their children go completely wild, i.e. shoot someone, kidnap or rob a bank. I have known some wonderful folk in my life. Good folk, good parents and their sons and daughters are determined to go to hell in the fast lane.
I know two families with loving parents. Both families had sons spend time in prison. The rest of the kids model citizens. They went thru a lot, in addition to the same battles of their peers.
We Parents do enough ‘blaming ourselves’ when a son or daughter ‘hits the skids’. No parent needs other parents to pile on.
So when these parents reach retirement they deserve happiness. Seniors deserve love. They are no longer 19-20 years old with 50-60 years of life ahead. Upon the loss of a loving partner of course they are lonely. Not necessarily marriage but they need ‘companionship’. They need love and attention. Someone to share meals and watch TV. Many are in their 80-90 range, but their feelings and desires are still the same, many need that closeness. There are always exceptions. My mama and Sherry’s dad didn’t seem to NEED a partner. I still smile remembering my mama saying, “I had MY MAN, don’t need another.”
When those seniors (our peers) find happiness in another, they certainly don’t need their children or us demanding an explanation (It is true everyone needs to legally show common sense): i.e. when one dies what happens with the estates (large or small), something needs to show the intents of both. Because life goes on, so there will be another death. Happiness is a big part of living long and healthier.
Sorry, that was just on my mind.
But in the end, the body may be beat up and the load of life still there, but as long as the engine runs we still want to GO!