Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Down but not out
Sister Shirl hanging cousin Bobby, me and Guy Abee on the clothes line in our back yard,1953. That is the school Gym behind us. That is how far I had to walk to school!
Tonight I am a little down. That is very unusual for me. I was born ‘positive and upbeat’. There are things I should be doing. I have two books in the oven and cannot get to them. Each time I must go back and reread everything I have written and still cannot find the handle. All my fans (both of them) keep asking when the next book will come out!
Sherry and I have dealt with dementia, but for an obvious reason caring for a loving mother who was SWEET until death was different. I think I have said it here before, but here it is again. When the Dr. told our family mama needed to be in a nursing home I (the baby of the family) spoke up, “My mama will never go to a nursing home!”
It is along story, but I interfered in a major way in two families. I was wrong. My mama should have went to a nursing home. But if you had been in the nursing homes I had been in, you might understand my IGNORANCE.
This time it is different. It is an older sister. Where mama was malleable, sister is not. In dementia cases there comes a time when one must do things that turn some stomachs. Cleaning vomit, missed toilets and cleaning ‘bottoms’. I can handle those things with not even a bat of the eye.
It is the refusal to allow ‘fixing’ those things and even trying to hide and deny the OBVIOUS, that hurts.
I am deaf. I am deaf because I have my implant devices off and in the little ‘Ultraviolet cooker’ where they sleep every night. Right now, if there was a jet engine next door I would not know it. I might FEEL the vibrations, but I would not hear it.
Ever read “Sean of the South?” If not, you should. He writes 99% about people, not himself. I read him daily, sorta like a devotion.
I wish I could do that! Me? I write about me mostly. It isn’t my ego (I don’t think), it is that I know me better than I know others.
So sitting here deaf, having just missed a dear friend’s memorial service who died of ‘Lewy Body Dementia’, I am sorta down. I missed it due partially to a ‘dementia related accident’. Judy was my age and also married 61 years, as Sherry & I.
I sit here being thankful I still have Sherry. I just tucked her in, and I sang, “I am so glad you came into my life,” then she joined me with, “Thank you Baby!”
YES, I am now totally deaf, but I am thankful when I attach my Cochlear implants in the morning. I will hear.
Today I drove past a few houses I built, two in which we have lived. I can see my girl now in bed. She always reads herself to sleep. We are parked behind Shirl. Her bedroom is bigger than this motor home. I built the house for us, but I prefer having my beautiful wife near me. I get many more kisses in 325 sq ft than I did in 2800sqft. So even though I am down, I have too much for which to be thankful, to stay down. Tomorrow will come. Thanks for listening.