Now for today....
Ever wonder what YOU DO NOT KNOW? I am noticing I cannot express my feelings and thoughts as I once could. (Or at least, thought I could.)
I have learned if I do not agree with something or someone if I try to let them know how I feel, I feel sorta stupid. So I keep my mouth shut on controversial subjects (That should have read, I TRY to keep my mouth shut! ;-( )
I have harped so much to my lady about protecting her Knee, I have become a worry wart! BTW she declares she is doing well.
I feel like I have been given the 'death Sentence', and I know that is not true. But when Drs give you an opinion, stated from facts, it shakes your mind.
I cannot forget a call from a brother in law Jim. In that call he said, "Jack the Dr. just gave me a death sentence, I have esophageal cancer. He says there is no cure. But I plan to beat it. He did not.
I remember my hero John Wayne said, I will beat this! Neither did he beat it.
Anyway I am still wondering, what is next. It seems about every day (in my mind) another little thing, bruise, spot or sore pops up. Today it was just a small dot with a scab in the exact spot where the Merkel Cell was removed, and it started in my mind again. LOL Yep I am crazy. But imma tell you, you cannot stop your brain from working. ;-).
Forgive me, I just need to vent I guess. In truth I have NOT seen nor felt seriously that I am seeing the trouble pop up again.
I thought today, 'Hey I should go to a gym for old folk and see If I can build my body up some.' I have laughed at that in the past, saying I get enough exercise! But maybe working does not work the right muscles.
Sorry, just wandering...
Just smile at an old man's words.
Nite Shipslog
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5 comments:
Jack, unfortunately I guess - I am very similar to you. But hey, we are human and I think God understands. We are not perfect and our mind wanders to the unknown. Be kind to yourself.
I think we all tend to wonder a lot and it's easy to let your mind go to where it shouldn't. Try to think positive. The good Lord is watching over you and everything will be all right! Keep the faith Jack! Everything ends just the way it was meant to be.
Perhaps the little scab is just part of the healing process. Give it all to Jesus, and He will direct your thoughts and steps, and if there needs to be any further action taken, He will guide you. Meanwhile, relax and enjoy being where you are for now. Regarding being able to express oneself intelligently, etc., I know that feeling. I am often at a loss for words and have to sit and think about it for a while until it comes back to me. I think at this part of the normal part of aging. However, if you get my dander up, I can express myself quite eloquently so watch out. Almost had just such a "conversation" with our youngest son today over a difference in opinion over world events. When it comes to some things, don't get me started unless you really want to know what I think! LOL. Mostly I try to keep peace, but there is a day coming when we will have to take a stand and stand firm or rue the day we didn't. Meanwhile, enjoy the beauty of the life God has given us to enjoy. Make every day count for something good in one way or another. God is in control, not us. (Praise God!). Take care my friend.
I think what goes through your mind is totally natural. I've been there hundreds of times. I love what Pam's written (above), but giving it all to Jesus is HARD!
If God did not want our minds to wander, He would not have given us a mind.
God bless.
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