A picture from the Past.
For Today:
We have experienced many things in our lifetime mostly good stuff, but once
I nearly ruined our great marriage. Some
things I am ashamed of but somethings need to be told to help others make
decisions. I once heard ministers discussing ‘gluttony’ and alcohol. The anti
alcohol guy said, “I have known of men drinking and driving and killing
someone, I have never known of someone eating too much and killing anyone.”
I commented to that preacher who was 300+ pounds himself and loved
buffets. I said, “My brother that may be true, but if one day you are bedfast
and your wife has to roll you over and wipe your butt, change the sheets trying
to take care of you, YOU COULD KILL or HARM HER for the rest of her life.”
Caregiving is wonderful BUT VERY TOUGH. My mother suffered from dementia and bedfast after the loss of one leg, then later lost
the other. Her doctor met with the family, “Mrs Darnell needs to go to a
nursing home.”
Big mouth Chief Darnell pipes in to say, “My mother will never go to a
nursing home!!!!”
(MY brother took me aside and said, “Jackie you have no idea what you
just asked for.” He had experienced it with his wife’s family. He continued, “When I come to visit mama and
ask ‘how’s it going?’ and you say ‘Go to Hell!’ I will be back next week,
because it can get that bad.”
I was active duty USN and the US government decided where I lived, at
the time that was Washington DC. So basically what I said was, “Take care of that Sherry!”
My loving wife quit a good job in the DC area and moved to NC to take care of
my mother.
The USN did sympathize, transfering me to Charlotte,NC so I could help, but that took months. In the meantime Sherry did take care of
things, but it was dragging her down. We
worked it out but we had to overcome a LOT of things; you can probably imagine… It almost broke up a sweet marriage..
We survived, but times have changed since the era the Walton’s
represented. We have told our boys, if necessary put us in assisted living, but
do not take us into your homes, live your lives…..
Caregiving is admirable, but it is tough. Mama was sweet and Sherry seriously
loved her. I said that to say if you are taking care of someone, GOD BLESS
you. If you know someone who is, Respect
them and help if you can.
Tomorrow I will talk about something silly, like making a B/W TV become
a color TV instantly.
NiteShipslog
PS: Once again ‘Thanks’
AGAIN to you all for stopping by the Shipslog..
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3 comments:
Care giving is very hard work. Now I'm going to move in with my daughter who wants to care for me in my old age. I will tell here if it ever becomes a burden to her, to put me in a home for old people. So far, my mind seems to be ok but dementia iruns in the family, so who knows... not me. I helped my sisters take care of my mom and dad and that wasn't easy at all, but the brunt of it fell on my youngest sister who wasn't working at the time. It changed her in many ways and I don't want that to happen to my daughter. You are right, there are homes for that kind of care !
One of my prayers is not to be a burden to my family. Sherry was an angel for sure!
Man oh-man, I remember a time when I thought elder care was just a walk in the park. Not so much, particularly when one's mind starts to go.
When I was too ignorant/selfish to realize what was really going on with my mother, Troy and Lois stepped up and took her into their home. Unfortunately, that didn't last but a couple years because she became too much for them to handle + two little daughters + working full time.
All the same, I owe them more than I can ever express.
Like y'all, I never, ever want to be a burden.
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