Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Feeling bad? (Just for fun)

Cousin Dewey out in Sin City heard from Shirl that I was in the dumps so he sent these trying to cheer me up….

So, Jack,  nobody loves you, no one cares, no one ever notices you, think of this guy: feeling bad


Now Consider These. . . READ ON!!

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Fernando Rodriguez , the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still Having a Bad Day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she ran outside and grabbed a handy plank of wood and smacked him with it, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his iPod.

Are You OK Now? -


STILL having a Bad Day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits. God is good!
Some folk are worse off Jack, now snap out of it.

Thanks Dewey, but you misunderstood Shirl I am sure.

Nite Shipslog


That is why we have friends, to bring some cheer into our lives with this crap of ‘You think you have it bad!’ Everyone knows a $100 check cheers one up much better!Winking smile  (Pay attention Howard Dewey)


1947 Pontiac

Now this would get you out of the dumps. 1947 Pontiac Woody!


Chatty Crone said...

Oh Jack - you are a hoot - I am going to send you a couple cartoons too.
Hope you feel better.

Paula said...

Yes we can always look around and see someone worse off then ourselves. Whoo the one about the vacuum is scary.

shirl72 said...

That is funny..I think after the
first thing happened I would be
back my old self enjoying Life.

You can't believe everything our
first cousin says he repeats things wrong. I hope he does not read my comments or I will be feeling bad. hee hee I like the saying Cheer up things could be worse so I cheered up and sure enough things got worse.

Jimmy's Journal said...

Funny stuff, but right on! The grass is always greener, especially in Colorado....


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I'm feeling better - thanks for all the smiles this morning. We forget sometimes to be thankful for what we have and even more important we forget to enjoy it! A toasty 12 degrees in Ohio this morning!

DD said...

We can always rely on our cousins in a time of need.
I do hope this day brings cheer and you will be out of the dumps soon, sincerely. (lol)

Good post..you are just too funny.
The bomb package drew the best laugh for me...haaa...

BlueRidge Boomer said...

Pull yourself out of that winter depression.....I'll be waiting for my check...!!


That vacuum cleaner one really got to me.

Louis la Vache said...

Keep ol' Fernando away from «Louis'» plug!

That's a nice Pontiac "Woody". :-)

betty said...

LOL with the vacuum, too cute!! Makes you wonder with the guy dead at his desk for 5 days; don't you think he might have started stinking after a few days?

thanks for the laughs; I hope you enjoyed them just as much and had a great day today!


Jackie said...

Oh, Jack. This made me smile!
Are you OK?
Thinking about you....