Monday, February 16, 2009

Oprah and me

Sometimes it get confusing for me, not knowing what is being said, but I manage to fix it big time. Oprah was real sweet. I don't know when it will run. LOL See paula, I know some famous folk.

Every book that is published, the author gets the same junk mail. The one that always strikes me is ‘Be on Oprah, sell millions of books in a few weeks’.
Quote, “We have helped literally thousands of writers appear on major networks, TV and Radio.”
Okay, the only catch for me to appear on Oprah is, I must send the guy $4000 and then he will start working for me.
Now like everything else you have to look at all the print. Down in small type is plainly written if you have a magnifying glass: “results advertised are not typical”. Shoot and I was on my way until I read that. I was imagining my conversation:
O:” Well Jack, how does it feel to be on national TV to tell about Sticky and Rags?”
Me: “Huh?”
O: “It is about Sticky & Rags.”
Me: “I’m sorry Miss Oprah, I don’t hear well but yes at his age my skin does sag, but I expected that. Oh did you read my book about Sticky?”
O: “Yes I did, I was wondering why didn’t you say Sticky was Black?”
Me. “ I did say he was back, didn’t you read in the forward of Rags, Sticky is back!”
O: “No, Jack I said Black, STICKY IS LIKE ME.”
Me: “Oh no, Miss Oprah, he isn’t nothing like you. He’s not even half as purty.”
Me: “Oh that is simple, when I don’t want to take responsibility for something, I ask my friends on the internet, what they think. I got what I considered solid advice from a friend in Alabama, who said I should wait until the next book.”
O: “Well don’t you think your readers should know what Sticky is?”
ME: “We worked off and on together for a few years, and he never told me, I thought it was a secret.”
O: “How could a thing like THAT BE A SECRET?”
ME: “What?”
O: “Him being Black?”
Me: “OH, I thought I told you, it wasn’t a secret, everybody in Belmont knew he was back. Sticky never hid that.”
O: “ Cut, folks take three days off. Mr. Darnell what do you think?
ME: “Oh I thought Sticky was Black all the time, but he never said.”
O: “No I mean about the INTERVIEW!”
Me: “Shoot I am ready anytime, when do you want to start?”
O: “Good bye Mr. Darnell, I am going to have a drink.”

Now I think she has put it off for a few weeks, I expect another call anytime.
I figure $4000 more might do the trick with that publicist guy
NIte ShipsLog

Sometimes too much to drink............. isn't enough.
In just two days from now,............tomorrow will be yesterday.


Monica said...

Well, I have to say if you ever were on Oprah I'd actually watch the show! I've only watched her show maybe twice, for sure once.

Thanks for the chuckle this morning.


betty said...

oh my Jack that would be funny if you were on Oprah!! I don't particularly care for her or her beliefs, but.......if you got on her show, I'd have to make an exception and watch it!!

as Monica said, thanks for the morning chuckle!


shirl72 said...

You are just to funny. When Oprah was honoring
Black ladies who had made, I wrote to her and
wanted her to have Bee the MC on WBT she didn't think she was famous enough. So I don't think
you will have a snow-balls-chance-in-H-ll of getting on but I will try. HA HA HA Get some new hearing aids in case she says yes. Another HA HA HA


Randy said...

Hello Mr. Jack,

Can I have your Autograph???? I'll bet it as vauable as Grisham now since you've been on "O"!

God Bless


Rose said...

I happen to like Oprah!

Funny entry!


Anonymous said...

well Jack..if Oprah is where ya wanna be...go for it...and I have finished my "Sticky" and I thought it was an amazing book..and I know the author!!!!! and well I wondered from time to time if Sticky was page he page not sure LOLOL...didn't make a bit of difference...the book was good!!! and now "Rags" is awaiting my attention...LOL..and your dialog with Oprah was hysterical...cause as you know Jack...I have a hearing problem too..and what some folks say...dosn't always come out the way we hear...right? LOLOL..God Bless...hugs...Ora

Debbie said...

HAHAHAHA ain't no wonder I love ya! Whoops! (Sherry you didn't see that did ya?) HAHAHAHA @ Shirl's comment! I haven't watched Oprah in years but you better believe if you were going to be a guest I'd be glued to the tube.

Don't ya just love junk mail?


Paula said...

Really cute entry. I like to watch Oprah sometime and I sure would if you were a guest.

Lucy said...

Jack, I liked Oprah but got bored with it and started computer and Sticky, Sticky many years later than computer. I just found out 2 of my kids and guess which 2 ( yep the ones that don't keep in touch) think I should not do the PC because I might SAY SOMETHING about them. Ron thinks it is fine and SAID THEY NEED TO leave me alone. Guess who I have talked about, those 2. If you are on Oprah LET ME KNOW. I will be there in person. Could not miss that!!!

Anonymous said...

I just got caught up on the log and I am so glad grandma is ok. I love you both!!! I will say thank you for not worrying us but if anything serious happens you better not wait to let us know.

Terri said...

::::::laughing hysterical::::

Oh Jack you crack me

Thanks for the laugh I needed it....

I was like what?? Jack was on Oprah and didn't tell us till it was

If you ever were on there I would be watching too...because you could give your friends(us) a shoutout on national not to mention it would be neat seeing our friend making his debut on tv...becoming a star ...talking about his wonderful novels :)

You are a hoot!

Love ya!

Anonymous said...

Like oprah sometimes, but must admit her book club picks are not mine. Hers are too hard to understand and yours are much more interesting.