Sunday, December 11, 2016
Ending another way of life, Jack's soap opera
Sadie’s daughter is Sharon. Sharon is like many of humans, including me. Many religious folk make me scratch my head or palm my face.
I don’t know about other religions, but the Jewish and protestant movement are built on Ten Commandments. We believe they were God given and I don’t think you will find better life guide lines anywhere.
For many years I had a lapse in faith. I lost my belief in God while in a position where that should never happen. Sherry and I had organized and built a church and had some of the most wonderful congregants I have ever known. The ones who are alive are still our friends. The church is still there and doing good. My loss had nothing to do with that church and those folk. It was my personal problem. I blamed church leaders. But it really was not them (blame is easy for us humans).
When I realized my problem, I calmly, bluntly told my sweet wife, “I am turning in my credentials and resigning our church Sunday. Honey, I will not stand in front of our members, live off their hard earned money and promote something I do not believe in. There is no God, this is all a game.”
That hurt my sweet wife about as much as anything I have ever done or said. Of course she did not believe it. Thinking this is only a down time, it will be better tomorrow.
I was no different outwardly. We moved out of the parsonage and bought a small house. I told the congregation I was going back to school, I could not intentionally hurt them. I applied for the GI Bill and entered college studying Civil Engineering.
I was still a nice guy. I still attended church with Sherry. I made no announcement of my lack of belief. I understood these ‘Christian’ folk. Millions of folk are ‘not Christian’, but are still good people. They honor their neighbor and basically follow the commandments.
After regaining ‘FAITH’, I took a minister to task who said an atheist is the most miserable person in the world, they have no hope. I said, ‘You misunderstand the atheist. They may certainly be wrong, but overall they are very happy and ‘at peace’ people. They do not spend their time worrying about a hereafter. They go to bed not concerned about a soul’s destination. They ‘KNOW’ death IS THE END, no after life to be concerned about. You see, I know this, you do not. You can only think of it from a Christian point of view. As a non-believer I knew there was no God. I did not brag about it, which would be silly. I also didn’t worry about Hell or Heaven, I just lived.
I still knew right from wrong morally. I would not cheat a person, steal or run around on my wife, because that would be morally WRONG. As an Atheist I was still Jack, a good guy.
This did not go where I wanted it to. I will give it one more shot tomorrow. This is much longer than I planned and I have deleted 300 words.
If I had thought of this, I might have still been a pastor, ..... No, but it is a good idea.