Monday, December 5, 2016

The other Goodbyes

Last entry I mentioned the sweet good byes, Myra suggested she loved the ‘See you later’ good byes. I agree.

But if you have lived over 40 years you have known times you said goodbye for the last time.  Many folk remember and wish they had taken the time for a hug and a sweet good bye.  Wonderful folk with sweet personalities have left us.

There have been warnings to set up that final good bye in most of my family passing.  Jim told Shirl since he was going first he would save her a place.  Dick, Kat’s hubby’s passing was opposite, he died suddenly and did not give a chance for the final good bye.

Sherry and I discuss this many times.  We are blessed to have each other, some have lost mates early.  Some slowly, some sudden.  There is no good way for the living to say good bye forever, and no good time.  BUT for the one gone, no problem. They will stress no more, nor worry about the rent or house payment. At times that is hard to wrap my mind around.

I have mentioned before that I was in the sky above Charlotte on a plane that could not land due to bad weather and my dad was dying in a Charlotte Hospital. Maybe I would have had a chance to say good bye, I will never know.

BUT every time someone close passes, I ALWAYS come up with a question I wish I had asked.  I am sure if I had it to do over, I would still miss some question.

Example: In the picture above, given to me by a cousin many years after did died. that is my dad on the left and Mama’s brother Oscar on the right. They are sitting on a wood pile  whittling.  I would love to know the occasion.

Could they be waiting to hear a new born baby cry?  If so who? Daddy looked like he could still be a farmer here.  Some questions will never be answered, that is a fact.

 Today I read a funny: Lady said, “Twould be funny if my last words were, ‘I left a million dollars under the ……………’

Nite Shipslog

Luxury time forgot.
Horch 853A


Mevely317 said...

Thank you for touching on such an important, sensitive issue, Jack.

Not unlike the days after 9/11, everyone made an effort to look each other in the eye when they parted ways; they remembered to say, "I love you." Gracious, what happened?!

This reminded me of something I posted a long time ago. Do you mind if I borrow space here to share an excerpt? --

"We can have "good" goodbyes or, what feel like "bad" goodbyes.
I think we can all remember some goodbyes that felt sad, that felt hard. Situations that we left which weren't our conscious choice to leave. People who we left or who left us -- and not by conscious choice. "I didn't get the chance to say 'goodbye' in the gracious and loving way that I would have liked."

In one of my favorite movies, Castaway, there are several kinds of goodbyes:

There is a goodbye that is intending to be temporary ~ much more temporary than 4 years! ~ when he says, "I'll be right back."
And then there's a sad goodbye ~ things didn't work out the way I wanted them to and I'm hurting.
And finally... there's a peaceful goodbye. And you just sort of know, when the goodbye is peaceful and loving that the doors are opening for a new beginning.

We never know when we say goodbye some morning, if that's the last time we're going to have this exchange, when or if there will be another hello. So, isn't it important for all of our goodbyes to be loving and genuinely affirming, "God be with you... GOOD be with you."

...thanks. :)

betty said...

We always end our telephone conversations or texts with "love you" just in case, you never know.......

No one is guaranteed tomorrow so we must live today as it could be our last day. For some of us one day that will be exactly it and there will be no more goodbyes.

So true about that question you think of and there is no one to answer that question left alive. And so true that we probably wouldn't think of that question except for the fact that there is no one left to answer it. We think we'll be here forever as well as those we love, when sadly that is not the case.


Lisa said...

We make it a point to never leave each other or go to bed without saying "I love you". We dont use the words goodbye. Its just "be careful, see you later". You have some good stuff to think about here. Gerat read. I think no matter what we say or do, its never enough at the end and we are all left to question.

Have a great day

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Yes the final goodbyes are the tough ones. I try to keep in mind that death is a part of life. We were born to die but what we do with the space in between is our choice. I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack and he's one that never got gray hair and wrinkles. I have many of them on the other hand. On the bright side I did get a chance to marry and share 27 wonderful years with the love of my life. Truly we should never miss a chance to tell those we love just how much they mean to us. We never know when we'll have another chance.

shirl72 said...

I always loved that picture...I am so thankful we had wonderful Parents...they
were the greatest..everyone loved them. I have never met anyone that would not
express their feelings about what a sweet mother we had and Dad also loved...
I am thankful for a good childhood.

Glenda said...

Great entry, and Mevely added some notes that resonated with me. As always, love to see pics of your family.


Never forget to say goodbye as if it's the last time you'll see someone. Fate throws us many curves.

2023 said...

Instead of the question, I wish I could go back & do or say whatever the person needed most from me at that moment. I wish that with my pets as well.