Friday, February 11, 2022

Collateral damage --- The fall out

 Memorable car of the day:

The '51 Ford was very popular, this is a Custom tudor.

For today: 

I had a kind hearted nephew who was actually a great boxer. He was a contender for NC heavyweight division. He got hooked on drugs early in his early 20s and spent most of his life in prison, but at his end he detoxed and upon release, witnessed for his Lord, but died at 43.

It is hard to understand the collateral damage to families. Innocent, loving brothers and family. I have though so many times of Men who commit heinous crimes. What about their families?  How they must suffer, especially if they did their best in raising and teaching.

If you had a son who had escaped prison or was alluding the law you would feel like you were under a microscope in case he contacted you in any way.

I knew a preacher, a leader in his denomination. His son was also a minister in that denomination. The son was caught soliciting prostitution, it caused a cloud over the father for the rest of his life. He never got over it.

John Donne said in the 17th century, “No man is an Island!”

In this world we need people, and so what we do affects others.  Like dominoes, when one member of the family is touched by crime or disease, the whole family feels the effect. The difference is that one causes hurt on family names and remains for years.  However,  disease does illicit sympathy, prayers, even gifts of food and other needs. The pain remains. The memories lasts, but the pain eases with time.

Life goes on and is Good, but when I see a young man/woman sent to jail for drugs and other crimes my heart hurts for the remaining family, more so than the one causing the trouble.

Nite Shipslog

PS: It doesn’t change things, but it sure helps the ones in the collateral damage wake, when the guilty party shows remorse, and is truly sorry that his/her family is hurting.


Susan Kane said...

Families pay a huge amounts to help their loved ones. I had a student with severe behavior problems. Had a conference with the family, with the preacher grandpa as guardian. Terrible family dynamics. Everything you named was what this 8 year old suffered.

Mevely317 said...

I've no first-hand experience, but what you've written makes perfect sense. Even as a child, when a crime had been committed, I remember my mother saying, "Oh, those poor parents!"

Sad, but I think she also believed that a child's misdeeds were a reflection on his parents. Another of her expressions when I'd 'act out', "You weren't raised that way."

Lisa said...

I think just about every family has a member that goes down that hard road. I am fortunate to not have any brothers or sisters that got into drugs or into trouble but there are a couple on Nicks side that got hooked. It is sad and makes a mother worry. I do not think they realize the damage “one try” can do. It is a tiring battle to keep up with when it’s someone you know and love. I know pastors with “those kids”. It does not matter how you raise your kids, they will do what they want when they can. Friends are the biggest influence.


betty said...

I always try to pray for the family of someone who got into trouble and did something heinous. They are suffering sometimes worse than the one who actually did the crime. I remember seeing a fictional movie but based on the life of Lee Harvey Oswald. His brother never changed his name. I think I might have been tempted to.


Victor S E Moubarak said...

Such a wise post, Jack. Thanx.

We are all an example to other people - whether good or bad. What we do in life has an effect on many others.

God bless.

Monika said...

Well, no one is an island. Which means that the black sheep was kind of affected by the dynamics existing in the family. My husband was the black sheep of the family, he had to escape to another country from his patronizing, following gods parents. And he found peace, not in religion, but in the fact that he was far away from it.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

e water. We need know what good or harm we can do.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Sorry only half my comment appeared. I meant to say people forget how much their actions reflects on others. Every thing we do has a ripple effect. radiating out to others. We just never know how much good or harm we can do.

Dar said...

What poignant points. It is very hard to live on without a shadow once a loved one steps in the wrong path. No matter how hard parents or any other loved ones try to be great examples and teach right from wrong, there might be a time one we love does wrong. The easiest thing to do is to still love them and always have your door open. Prayerfully, they will come home with repentance and the desire to do better. It's all we can ask for and to turn it over to the Lord who we know has understanding and forgiveness. This one sure makes one think and pray.
loven'hugs from our warmer north little by little