My big mouth and a brother’s story for me.

 That Car:

 

 1964 International Truck

For today, bear with me until tomorrow:

My mother did not want to live, after my dad's death.  But her body was too strong. Over the next few years her legs were amputated, not from diabetes, but simply died from lack of use. The family was called in, the Doctor said, “Mrs. Darnell needs to be in a nursing home.”

Me, Mr. Big Mouth popped up, “MY mama will never go to a nursing home! She will live with us.” (At that time we had a home in Charlotte, but Sherry and I worked & lived in Washington, DC., I’m smart huh? Sherry quit a good job and returned to take care of Mama.)

With the family in the hospitl room, Junior, my older brother said, “Jackie we need to talk.”

(Quick background my brother and his wife had taken care of his MIL and FIL during a few years of illnesses, until their death. He knew I was flying blind.

In the waiting room Junior said, “Jackie you have no idea what you are saying.  I cannot help you, we are worn out. I will come and see mama. When I ask how things are going and you say, “GO TO HELL!”  I’LL be back next week, it can get that bad.”

“Let me tell you a story as it was related to me before we took Mozelles' mom and dad in, AND I PAID IT N[O MIND. Hopefully you are smart enough to pay attention.”

Story:

Things were getting bad in the farm house. It was a family farm passed down for several generations. Grandpa was still living, but his son ran the farm.  

Grandpa was demanding without realizing it. After a while it took its toll. The wife was pushed too far, she told her husband, “It is either dad or me, one of us is leaving.”

The county home was only 2 miles away. Arrangements were made. Pa took the news quietly. On the entry date Pa and son started the walk to the County Home.

At the top of the hill overlooking the Home, Pa said let’s rest on these rocks, so they sat. Tears began rolling from Dad’s eyes while looking down at the Home.

“Daddy please don’t make this any harder than it is, I wish it was different, but we must do this for my families’ sake.”

“Oh it is not you nor your sweet wife Mary. She is the best.  I didn’t see it coming and I should have. I have just forgotten, Son, these are the same rocks where me and my dad sat, on his way to that Home.”

My Brother Junior said, “Jackie I paid no attention to the preacher nor to the story, true or not I don’t know, but it states a truth. Families once shared homes, JUST like the Waltons, but today for some reason, most families cannot share a home.”

Like my brother, I did not pay attention. In a couple months I made it back to Charlotte to live and help also. In the end Sister Shirley Left Maryland returning to Charlotte. She shared the load until mama passed. Mama would have done well in assisted living.

There were many good times involved. Mama was sweet.

  BUT.... there are memories of words said, actions taken that NEVER would have, without the added strain in our home. Sherry loved mama and no one could have treated her better.

Nite Shipslog

PS: I admire anyone who can give care and love, and still live their lives. BUT believe me 24/7 in today's created stress, it is tough as nails. (my mind ain't right, I have probably blogged about some of this before...)

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