Monday, November 11, 2013

Plan to die, But plan to live until then!

(I am posting, and the alerts get stalled somewhere in space, I think it is too far to the internet from the Low Country and they get lost!)

“WRITE YOUR OBITUARY!”  Surprised smile Words spoken to me by my sister Shirl, after she had worked on her third or forth family Obituary. If you ever get caught off-guard by a death, you will know what she is saying.

So yes, I have written my obituary, I told her she was going to be surprised at how good I WAS! Since that advice we have ran into situations where it would have been easier on the family, if the person had actually written their obit. 

Some facts about death.  When women are left behind, they can get thru the info asked by the funeral director, but if it is only men, the deceased is out of luck. To be VERY plain, when it comes to family history and info ‘WE MEN DON’T KNOW $HI-!’.

Try it, Ask some man what was his mother in law’s maiden name and how to spell it. Brothers and sisters and their husbands and wives, etc. Ask a guy where his mama was born. Quickly, who pre-deceased your dad?

Just the other day we learned of a family that forgot to list one of the deceased sisters in the obit of a wife who died unexpectedly and it caused a terrible row in the family.  To be honest I never thought how important the obit was, BUT I AM LEARNING!

My book, ‘Gracefully Grasping for Dignity’ covers a lot of that. This book is about 100 pages, an easy read containing some blank forms, in large print and  is available on Amazon. It is also  an e-book thru Kindle. The Kindle is still only 99¢ I believe.  Just the other day I got a call from a man who had just read the book. He wanted to notify me he would be ordering  200 of these books for a group of seniors for Christmas.

Lucy (who is probably our most senior blogger) got me to thinking of this in her  blog. She made a statement that some can relate too, “I was more honest with my doctor this trip than ever before, concerning my fear of stroke and becoming dependent.”  Yes Lucy, that is the fear of most of us seniors, and it is REAL.

I do not morbidly think of death, but I know it WILL happen. I smile when I think of the words of an attorney when my dad went in to get his will made out. Dad said, “I told him that I needed a will in case I died.”

The attorney said, “First thing we must get straight preacher, it is not ‘In case I die’ it is when I die.”

Think about it, you are never too young nor too old to die.

Nite Shipslog


There are some things that are sure, that is death and taxes…..

On a serious note:

Johnny  is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Bill, is wearing an earring. John knows Bill to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." John walks up to Bill and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," Bill replies sheepishly.
John falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

I always wondered how this trend got started.


Even cars die:

even cars

But like us, this one is still alive:

1930Isotta-Fraschii 87A SS Torpedo

1930 model


Jackie said...

LOVED the joke about the earring...loved it!
Regarding your one can write one's obituary better than oneself. I like it. I really like it.
P.S. Ever notice how that after someone dies, when reading their obituary, how wonderful they have become? :))


Had to chuckle about the earring.

Anonymous said...

heh, heh, if I found an ear ring in my husband's car, I'd probably pierce his ears for him, lol

I'm not ready to write my obit just yet, but I like Emily Dickinson's sentiment: "Judge tenderly of me!"

bonnie k.

Paula said...

When John's brother died in another state John and his sister who lives near here put an obit. in this paper and forgot to put his brother's wife's name. We thought oh well she lives up there and will never know. Guess what? She found out some how, probably by the internet.

Chatty Crone said...

Jack you and I are so much alike - I believe the same exact thing! We are all going to die why are some people so afraid to talk about it? Then when you get sick no one knows what you want - especially these days - I don't even want to go there.


Woody said...

My arrangements are done and "Obit" is written, I do plan on living as much as I can till the "Grim Reaper" calls for me which I hope will not be for some time!!
you 2 take care, it is raining and snowing and cold and windy, counting down to January 1 when we hopefully head south!!!

betty said...

First of all, thanks Jack and Sherry for your service to our country; wanting to remember both of your dedication to the freedom of our country on this Veteran's Day.

Totally agree about writing the obit before the fact. Heck, they do that for famous people so that everything is ready when the person dies and they announce the death on the news, etc.

People think of death as a taboo, but it is part of life so I think it is always good to get issues out in the open and not be afraid to discuss things either related to death.


Glenda said...

Wow, you've nailed it, again!
Am in the process of looking for a car, prolly have pmts, and it occurred to me I need to purchase a whole life policy that will pay out immediately so that my POA doesn't have to make any decision in a rush! Since there are no offspring to leave my "inheritance" to, I've never been unduly concerned with finances after I'm gone, but, you're on target. We're all going and we don't get to pick the time of our passing, it makes so much sense to plan ahead so that the ones who have to deal with the details have a guide. Great entry!

shirl72 said...

Mine is written, you have to think
who will be living when you die
and will not know any of the questions that the Funeral Director will ask them. You can up date it when change happens

When you have gone through as many
as I have you will understand why
it is a good thing to have it written. The questions will be

Cher' Shots said...

It is so weird that just today I asked Thom to write down his military history. Not thinking of an obit but because we got together after his 20 years in the service, I can't keep the years straight.
Which reminds me ~ Thanks for YOUR years of service Jack. <3
'love & hugs from afar'

Dar said...

Bill and I were just talking about this very thing...he wouldn't know diddly squat about who, what, when, or where concerning either one of us. Likewise, I wouldn't get all of his family right either. Great advise Jack. I have your book, 'Gracefully Grasping for Dignity' and now will read it again.
You, my friend, are one of my All American Heroes. Thanks so very much for serving our country not once or twice, but 3 times. You are one of the Special Breed.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

That is very good advice. I never thought about writing my own obit before. I do agree about living until we die. Some do it better than others. We have our first snow covering the ground here this morning Hope you all are enjoying sunny weather.