Saturday, February 25, 2017

The Baby Boy

I don't know about the rest of the country or the world, but where I came from, the baby of the family was the baby as long as mama lived.

We moved to seven different towns in my early life and I was introduced to hundreds of people by my mama as, "And this is Jackie, my baby boy, OR This is our youngest, Jackie, the baby of the family."

That bothered me until I was married, then bothered me less when I was grown. But even in my 50's & 60's I was still her baby.

 There is something special about mothers and their children. Probably something we men will never fully understand.

When I was 11-12 it really bothered me and I never forgave my younger brother for dying just after he was born, he could have been called THE BABY.  lol

Of course I must admit when we were alone and she would hug me and call me her baby, I didn't mind that.  I was really her pet.

Funny thing, I am 78 now, and I don't mind being the baby of the family! Sister Shirl and I are the only ones left of the family. We have buried Momma and daddy, a sweet sister, two brothers (that were my heroes), and two infant siblings. 

Sister Shirl has suffered grief losing a wonderful husband, Sherry has lost six members of her family.

Many of the Shipslog's readers have lost more. Our boys are a joy to be around at this point in life. Tonight we entertained and were entertained by our oldest son, Jack Jr.  Sherry and I have decided it is time to talk of our future with the boys and what we would like to see done to prepare for the inevitable.  I want to know both boys feelings concerning our assets.

It is that time. One might remain mama's baby a long time, but there comes that time in every life, even the baby's, that life ends.  I would like to leave everything we can IN ORDER.

Hey, not that I expect my end soon, but WE DO NOT KNOW THE FUTURE!

Nite Shipslog

We don't know who will get the motor home!


Lisa said...

Its good to have "that talk". It gives you a little peice of mind. I actually have my whole funeral service written on a piece of paper and put in my "folder". I also want all my things put away neatly and the house cleaned before I go. People may come visit. Yea this actually worries me. Ha.
Im the middle child so I feel like the black sheep at times. My little brother is the baby and he is still gets the longer straw.


betty said...

I'm the youngest, my mom would always refer to me as her baby :)

Good you will be talking to the boys about "end of life" issues. Really important to do. I remember when my mom came to visit one time when we were living in Montana and she handed me her Living Will and a business card for a mortuary where she had premade/prepaid her funeral expenses. She said "just in case something happens when I'm visiting." Of course I minimized it because I didn't want anything to happen, but I was glad she was willing to inform us just in case it happened while she was there. Hubby's parents had lots more than my mom did and set up living trusts so the 2 brothers knew the division of assets, etc. Hubby's parents didn't give much direction of what they might want for a funeral or didn't premake arrangements. Both boys flounder when the parents passed because they had no idea really what the parents might want or not want for their memorial services, etc. I honestly think (and I've heard it from others) that someone should write their obit before they die so it includes what they want others to know of their lives. Often at times of grief, key details are left out that the deceased might want others to know.

I'm always the one making the plans if hubby were to die before me, like what I would do, go to live, etc. The other day he mentioned something to me about what I should do if he passes before me. Made me a bit worried if he had a premonition or something, but I guess we just never know when it can happen.

Good to be prepared!



in my life i have seen the baby of the family get preferential treatment. seems unfair but such is life. the firstborn is always doted on too.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Babies do have a way of growing up and getting older. I'm the oldest in my family and have already lost one sister. The baby of our family is still around and I'm so very thankful for her. Yes we all get older, and making plans with family is for the best. I've seen what tragedy can happen when nothing has been done.

Back Porch Writer said...

I guess no one really wants to talk about it, but I think it helps things when the inevitable does happen. People know what to expect, what the wishes are, and have more of a sense of what to do. A wise thing. Hope you all are doing well, and I'm sure you have been enjoying some warmth somewhere in the warm temps down here in the south. A little cooler today in middle TN, but I think warms up again as the week goes on.

Paula said...

When Mel died at almost 53 we had everything tended to except I had to buy the monument. It certainly made it easier to not have to make split decisions during grief. Even though my funeral is paid for I have told my girls I do not want a funeral, just to ask the funeral home if they will trade for a shade tree over Mel and I. lol

shirl72 said...

I can't believe I missed several Blogs. I don't know where my time is going.
Days are fleeting by to fast. The motorhome just need a little paint job and it will look new..funny. I think at times we are the two left..I miss them.
Glad you had a good time visiting with you boys.

Mevely317 said...

Sorry for being tardy! I felt not unlike a frog-in-a-blender, yesterday.

Curious (you don't have to answer), how JJ handled the 'talk.' My dad's passing was a shock, but seems like yesterday when my mother broached the subject. I was SO uncomfortable!
I don't think Tom has prepared anything, but at my son's urging, I did a Living Will last year and felt such an enormous sense of relief.

PS - Perhaps you had to do so as well(?) ... but one of Troy's first tasks in the U.S. Army - before being shipped overseas - was to write his own obituary. Sobering for those so young.

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