Sunday, March 26, 2017

Parenting, Senior Love and friendship

Funny thing about life. I was talking to my good friend Dallas the other day and the subject of ‘Tough Love’ came up. We bated it back and forth what we thought of the policy and he says to me, “Jack, I can use and enforce tough love to its final stage, with YOUR KIDS!”

We all had a good laugh at that, because we all KNOW that is the human’s nature: It is easy to tell someone what to do when we have no skin in the game, no responsibility if the advice falls flat.

If we are not careful, we will blame parents when their children go completely wild, i.e. shoot someone, kidnap or rob a bank. I have known some wonderful folk in my life. Good folk, good parents and their sons and daughters are determined to go to hell in the fast lane.

I know two families with loving parents. Both families had sons spend time in prison. The rest of the kids model citizens. They went thru a lot, in addition to the same battles of their peers.

We Parents do enough ‘blaming ourselves’ when a son or daughter ‘hits the skids’.  No parent needs other parents to pile on.

So when these parents reach retirement they deserve happiness. Seniors deserve love.  They are no longer 19-20 years old with 50-60 years of life ahead. Upon the loss of a loving partner of course they are lonely. Not necessarily marriage but they need ‘companionship’. They need love and attention. Someone to share meals and watch TV. Many are in their 80-90 range, but their feelings and desires are still the same, many need that closeness. There are always exceptions. My mama and Sherry’s dad didn’t seem to NEED a partner. I still smile remembering my mama saying, “I had MY MAN, don’t need another.”

When those seniors (our peers) find happiness in another, they certainly don’t need their children or us demanding an explanation (It is true everyone needs to legally show common sense): i.e. when one dies what happens with the estates (large or small), something needs to show the intents of both. Because life goes on, so there will be another death.  Happiness is a big part of living long and healthier.
Sorry, that was just on my mind.
Nite Shipslog
 Most Seniors have went through life over loaded.

 But in the end, the body may be beat up and the load of life still there, but as long as the engine runs we still want to GO!


Mevely317 said...

As usual, you've provoked my 'thought genes', Jack.
Another blogger recently posed the topic, "Nature vs. Nuture" with lots of interesting commentary.

An 'only' child, I spent an inordinate amount of time studying my friends interactions with their siblings. (... leaving me to lean towards Nature v. nuture.)

Regardless, I feel for the parents who go beating themselves up unnecessarily for their children's actions. How I wish the media would stop trying to lay blame where none's deserved!

Lisa said...

Im one to agree most of the time it is how a child is raised that reflects a lot on how they turn out. I have seen good people have bad kids but then look back and see there was just not enough love shown or respect tought while they were growing up. Ive seen kids go to prison and notice they were spoiled brats growing up with the most lenient parents.
However, kids will try their own road at some time or another but eventually come back to their teachins.

Keep that motor running

betty said...

Loved the picture of the corgi :) My mom never wanted to date or have a relationship with a man after my dad died so young. She said she was a one man woman; she had the best; no one could live up to him. She also didn't want another man raising another man's children. Not sure if she was lonely, she didn't talk about that, but she was always around others; lived with us kids during various parts of her latter years or around other family members like sisters. Hubby had to clean up a dead bird in the backyard yesterday. The thought ran in my mind "who will clean it up after he's gone." Apartment living may be my best option then :) I do like being married, but I do not think if he dies first I'll pursue another relationship.


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I know I am a one man woman. Never found anyone to replace my DDH. Having a large family probably had a lot to do with that. They've kept me pretty busy over the years which hasn't left me much need of companionship otherwise. All of us are different and I say do what makes you happy! Life is too short!

Paula said...

I was only 50 when Mel died and my girls lived in other countries and other states so I danced a lot. I loved to dance and Mel wasn't much interested in it so we didn't except when we took the girls before they were allowed to go with other kids. They were married by the time Mel died so I could do some things I enjoyed. John and I work out fairly well with each paying our own bills. Sometime one has to hold the other up and vise versa.

Dar said...

Rearing kids is a tough job and sometimes required tough love. Now that all ours are grown and raising their own families, some have actually thanked us for our persistence of ' good behavior.' Isn't it funny how it comes around.
As for companionship, yes, important but I can say in my case, that first guy sure didn't work out but the two fine kids I got are priceless. My man now, sweet William, is more than I could ask for. He's my Love of MY Life. I need no more after the best, should he pass before me. God has been So good to us.
Hugs n' love from up north from our home to yours. Another batch of maple syrup starts in the morning for an all day cooking. I love this life.


I'm going to be lost without my hubby when the grim reaper decides it's time to take him. He has lots of health issues and at 78 is hanging in there. Thank goodness.