(Disclaimer, I am not an expert on seniors nor kids, but at this stage what is done is done in my life with raising a family, I did the best I could at the time, but looking back I could have done much better.)
Life and living it, has changed over the years. Our society has evolved where more and more martial discipline (corporal Punishment) is frowned on by society. I will be the first to say I went overboard in my parenting a couple times. BUT it is now to the point young parents are afraid to spank a child for fear of Social services being notified. So now we see screaming kids in restaurants, stores and parks. Kids fall on the floor and pitch a tantrum in the toy department and parents seem confused as what to do.
I didn’t get too many 'spankings', ‘switching’s’ and/or ‘whippings’ in my life, but I deserved the few I got (and more). I would much rather daddy dispense the punishment, mama had a way of using ‘the talk’ before and after the ‘switching’ to get to the heart of the issue. LOL
In my early life I had friends who carried the marks of ‘whippings’ for days. I do know some were over board, but did they bend a child the wrong way? I am not sure. I have read that folks who were whipped regularly, passed that on to their children. I do not always swallow every survey hook line and sinker, but my sampling to counter that is very small.
'I think' most discipline, firmly applied, with love WORKS. Notice I wrote, I THINK, because I cannot say that the love part always came across, in my case.
Our sons have raised some VERY FINE kids, my grand-kids NEVER screamed or pitched a hissy fit because they did not get their way. I was always proud of our sons and their wives for that. NOTICE I am not going further back than the grands. LOL
You that raised kids, did you have a problem with deciding the discipline?
I wouldn't know anything about raising boys but we didn't have any real trouble with our girls. They always tell me I'm lucky they didn't sneak out the window like their friends talk about. I tell them I would have known. If they were young now it may be a different story. I knew a family who were very strict (I thought too strict) and the son went to prison for drugs. The two girls did okay as far as I know.
Good stuff, Jack. I don't recall ever being 'swatted' ... the threat, alone, was enough to make me toe the line.
Unfortunately, this hits close to home. Tom's daughter and her hubby's parenting skills have left much to be desired. A couple years ago it wasn't unusual for one of the grands (who didn't get his/her way) would pick up the phone and call 911 on their parents. Because we've not 'bought into' their drama, we've little to do with them; my heart just hurts for Tom. One may not like someone, but I suppose you never stop loving them.
Discipline done with love and consistency seems to be the mark I do believe. Wee one at 13 months is testing his boundaries and knows what he shouldn't be touching, but likes to try to see if he will get away with it. Consistently telling him "no" and removing him from the situation is working, but there are those times when I'm tempted to just allow it, but knowing its the consistency that is what drives the lesson home on discipline. I wasn't spanked, I didn't spank. Hubby was spanked and quite often. He chose early on in parenting he would not spank. We weren't perfect with discipline but for the most part the kids acted okay out in public, no temper tantrums, etc. Son had his problems in his teen years and early adult years, but a lot of that was of his own choosing, he knew better, but then was subject to the discipline of the law of the land (which was more harsher than our discipline). Interestingly, watching him discipline his step daughter, he is way harder on her than I was on him (example, she lied to him about something, he took her cell phone away for the weekend; I would have probably just taken it away for a day if I took it away at all).
I think doing away with spanking is a good thing.
Oh I had my share of spankings thats for sure. Im not sure I deserved some of them but when one of us got it, we all got it. Not fair. But Momma always said it takes more than one. I disagreed usually resulting in an extra pop.
I spanked mine a few times and I think Nick got a hold of her one good time but thats it.
She mostly got spanked out of fear. like when she would dart into the parking lot of climb into a dangerous postion. I rarely spanked her when I was mad. Usually "that look" from Dad would do better than a spanking.
Im sure you were a great parent. Just look at them boys!
I was the one to dish out the discipline in our family. I was one of those that was known as a 'mean mom'. My husband was the softie and I was not found of being the meanie but someone had to be the one to teach them right from wrong...Every child needs some boundaries set otherwise they stretch the limits.
I don't remember ever being spanked but I Do remember if we argued, we got sat in chairs, facing one another, and told not to smile or laugh. None of us kids could ever do it. It usually ended in a long conversation about why we were fighting in the first place, but with the laughter, we couldn't even remember what we were fighting about. I do remember my twin getting my mom's guitar whacked on his backside. He felt so bad when the guitar broke and I don't remember the folks having trouble with him after that incident. As for our discipline with our kids, it didn't happen often. For the most part they were pretty good kids. We put the boys in wrestling so at least they learned ' constructive ' fight/play. They never hurt each other. They did pick on their sister but she got good at self defense. The nit-picking stopped once they realized she could take all of them down. To this day, they do not challenge her. She can arm wrestle every one of them and win.
Discipline with strong love. It works.
Hugs from up north. Mama came to the woods and helped collect sap today, stayed til late evening as we boiled off part of a batch. The maple syrup sure is good stuff.
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