Sunday, July 22, 2018
You gotta know when to Fold 'em
Update and report.
My rash seems to be doing better, but I am not out of the woods yet. I am still wearing long sleeves if we leave the house and expect to meet folks. It is also nice to be able to walk a couple miles each evening. It is our time to talk and sometimes plan. Just now though, planning is pretty hard.
I did start the motor home engine today just to remind her we still expect her to be ready to go when we do decide. This is one of the longest times this coach has sat ‘still’.
My plans when coming to NC was to build an apartment in the basement of our home Shirl was living in. We knew dementia was stealing her mind but thought she was good for a couple more years with help onboard. I was hoping to find someone to live there and help take care of her.
Once I realized Shirl needed more help than a couple in the basement and ‘Visiting Angels’, I cut the apartment down to only a bathroom. Now after some discussion, the bathroom is out and I can just play in the basement. (YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO FOLD!) I am constantly told I am too old (maybe I am!) BUT, I am fixing my playhouse with a section for tools. Then one each for electrical and plumbing.
(playing in the basement)
So, a statue of my dog Ace has been guarding the house mailbox for many years and I decided it is time to bring Ace inside and give him a makeover (a paint job). As I type this entry he is enjoying the last coat as it dries. He says he likes it. Tomorrow I will fix his eyes, probably cataract surgery. LOL
I have a 1400sqft playhouse. Today I was arranging the paints. At the same time I was talking to Shirl. I chewed her out for leaving me after demanding I come home. She reminded me of what she told me, “If my mind is going, I’d rather be dead.” I told her that was selfish, but I really didn't blame her. We had a long conversation about family and kids. I told her I could not follow ‘ALL’ her written instructions. Then I told her to ask Jim if I was right?
She reluctantly agreed after talking to Jim (her husband) but she still didn’t like it. She and Jim were a good pair. She has questioned why she was left alone with Jim’s death. She took solace in Charles Stanley (me too). She often repeated something he had said, “It is okay to question God, and He understands our limited knowledge. Besides that, hey, He can take it.”
I am getting long winded again, gotta fix that.
Shirl won a couple drag-races against other girls in Drexil, NC in a 1953 Two door Buick, not a convertible.
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Wow, learned something new about Shirl today. She drag raced! I can't imagine her doing that! And winning too! We'll have to see a picture of Ace. Bet he looks great now that he is getting all spiffy up!
Yep, God doesn't mind if we question him. Of course that doesn't mean he'll answer our questions when we do question him about something, but he is big enough to take the questioning.
Enjoy organizing your playhouse and also think where you might want to take your next trip in the motor home. I'm sure she is "itching" to go somewhere!
Shirl even raced, what a sister! Hope you get that rash all gone soon.
Knowing how much you love tools, having all that space will keep you busy enough for a while. Things do not always go as we plan them and this is one time you needed to know when to fold them for sure. Glad the motor home started up for you. Hope things are sorted out there soon and you'll once again be on the road. You and Sherry are in my thoughts always !
I think you're doing wonderful considering how your summer has been going. Life is tricky sometimes and knowing when to fold 'em is part of the process.
Your coach will be ready when you are. A place for the tools is a good idea while you have talks. I still talk to Dad and my sister and they've been in heavens place nearly 11 yrs. Time takes care of the hurt and memories continue to sweeten. Fire up the ol' girl and go for a short trip. When it's time, the roads will lengthen. Shirl would want you to continue your dream. God's plan for you and Sherry is coming into fruition.
loven'hugs from way up north where the Creekside Retreat is getting a facelift too. She's gonna be fresh again like Ace.
Im thinking your setting up a “man cave” in the basement. Haha. Hope your rash goes away soon. Use some vitamin E cream on it .
Wow! Shirl was a racer? How cool is that. I picture her in the 50’s wearing hot pants instead of a poodle skirt! Am I right?
Keep the stories coming.
I agree with the other comments. I like how you are dealing with it. You know the 5 stages of grief - no order - and they can be repeated. Anger, denial, bargaining, acceptance, and sadness. This really is good for you. Sandie
glad you've had this time to stay put and collect your thoughts following shirl's passing. let the memories sustain you.
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