Thursday, May 23, 2019


Those cars of my youth (50’s)
Sister Shirl's first car a new '59 Royal lancer by Dodge.. 

Today I am reminded of something I am saying more often, ‘that will be me someday.’

Seeing the death of people MUCH older than I (90’s) is acceptable in my mind, because it is NORMAL. But, BUT seeing childhood and teenage friends obits is a GIANT reminder. Today I looked over at Sherry’s computer to see Brenda Muse’s picture (a friend from our teens). Sherry checks the obits in two papers daily (I figure she is checking to see if I am there! (smile)) 

It seems Sherry gets a call or e-mail once or twice a month notifying her of a friend or classmate who has passed from this life. At that rate our circle of friends narrows. Funny that, as class reunions shrink I hear they start to combine them. Even lately the drop outs are being contacted and invited to reunions.  It is good to know a ‘drop-out’ can live a longer life also. ;-)

I cannot decide if I want Sherry to run a picture of me young or one closer to the age I pass. I have a feeling she will run the one she wants to. HA! 

Thinking of obits, Shirley was always on me to write my obituary. Explaining it is hard on the family to come up with a good one at the funeral home. I did write it and told her she was going to be surprised how famous I was when she reads it. We joked about it.

It is sad, because as my sister aged she changed her mind, and destroyed her obit. She left instructions: I have outlived most of my friends so, do not feel bad but follow my instructions. There is to be No notice in the paper, no obit, no service of any kind and do not tell anyone I have passed away. I followed MOST of her desires.

Nite Shipslog
Did I read that headline correctly?

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!


NanaDiana said...

I am glad you honored MOST of your sister's instructions. It is kind of sad to think she did not want anyone to know of her passing---and be able to mourn that fact.

Many of our friends have passed away--most, sadly, from cancer. It is so hard to lose those that we have been close to in life, isn't it? Even if we don't see a person for a long time, we know they are 'there' somewhere living their lives and when/if we connect with them it is just as if no time has passed.

I hope you and Sherry have a beautiful day. xo Diana

betty said...

I think Sherry was wise to have you write your own obituary. I think its a smart thing to do for the very reason she mentioned. In people's grief they do forget some things that the deceased might want mentioned. I know the news people etc. write obituaries for the famous people ahead of time and then just add on what needs to be written to make it up to date when they pass. I think a picture halfway in one's life could be good for an obituary. That's the ones hubby and his brother chose for their parents. Not in their prime but still successful (and not old) looking.

I go back and forth, but I'm like Shirl mostly. No obits, no service, just let the few that need to know I'm no longer here and have gone home.


Lisa said...

I have not written my Obituary but I have written down my funeral arrangements and songs to be sung and words to be said but I have also changed it twice so far.

Love from above ground

Mevely317 said...

I just realized, I need to take a page from Lisa. Everything's changed so, since we moved here. Only this morning Tom and I attended a funeral for an 'older' gentleman, complete with full military honors. Amazing, and I suspect his obit had been written well in advance.
I'm glad you shared (about Shirl) the way in which you did. Her friends may have been gone, but you and Sherry needed to honor your own pain. I'm reminded of the title from a old, well-loved book: "Tears are for the Living."


i think it's a good idea to write you obituary.

Dar said...

Just yesterday we visited Bill's uncle, his last living uncle, no more aunts on his side either. While visiting, his uncle showed us many black n' whites of their families before them. So many names we never knew. It's important to gather this information for our kids and theirs while there is still ' one more left ' to give it. There will be a family reunion this summer of which we pray Uncle Bob can attend. His memory of 91 yrs. is very sharp. Even the youngsters like to listen to his stories. As for obits, I will be gone so what my family chooses to do, and/or write will be fine with me. Such things Are for the living.
love n' hugs from up north where there isn't a white line around me just yet.