Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Bench Mark!

Every political season (back when I could hear) I had to laugh at myself. I could hear a candidate make a political pitch and I would say to myself, the man is right.  At the next program break, his opponent would come on and make a speech, and I would find myself saying, hey he is right too!  I laughed at myself for being so gullible.
I try to be honest about my feelings when asked.  Sometimes I even voice them, if the subject is really important to me (too loudly on occasion). Many times other folk have honest opinions also, and they may be opposite mine.
In life sometimes there is a person who is a Bench Mark.
(Bench Mark.. A point of reference; a mark made by a surveyor on a permanent object that shows an established position and elevation and is used as a reference point.)  You cannot change a bench mark, once made it is the standard.
It is also someone others are measured by. We unconsciously  refer to George Washington and Abe Lincoln as the bench mark of honesty.
I have known three men and several women who I could say were bench marks for me. I consider myself fortunate to have known these people. Two of which were my parents. They have been gone for years, but their lives still guide my decisions in life. I wonder, were these my role models because they were older?  I don’t think that is it.  When a role model differs from you on a subject, they will express their opinion without giving the impression you are na├»ve  for not agreeing with them.
It is a trait one cannot fake, we all know when someone is belittling us, no matter how they word it. I was fortunate to have a friend, a peer who was a Bench Mark. I miss his open honesty. His ability to make me feel good about myself.
I remember once I was able to return the compliment. It was at a low point in his life, he had lost his wife and between us, he was doubting his faith. He expressed to me something he would NEVER express to another individual. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “You probably think I am terrible for saying that.”
But I could smile and truly say, “NO, buddy, I think you are just human.”  Then two old men hugged, I miss him so much.
I hope you have enjoyed at least one Bench Mark in your life.
Thanks for coming by the log.
Nite Shipslog
Voicing differences, without belittling, is a commodity in short supply.
1949Ford1950 studbaker starlite1950_Ford_Crestliner_2dr1951Packard4DoorSedan-mx1
This is the period I started noticing cars. The new year models were always a mystery. They came into town covered in canvas, it was a secret until the day of unveiling!


Anonymous said...

interesting post...Don and I agreed early on to not argue...what we had were DISCUSSIONS :D and I believe he came as close to being a "bench mark" for me as I'll ever get. another "bench mark" was my friend Pat Hartmann, long gone now, she was the best female friend I've ever had...probably the best friend I've ever had...I could tell her anything...talk to her about anything...miss both of my bench marks OK I'm on a roll now, I think my Dad and my Grandma M were bench marks too...they were certainly my moral compasses from childhood onward...well what can I say I miss all my bench marks

Anonymous said...

Actually, not being able to hear when it comes to politics is a small blessing. ~Mary


An interesting name for someone who has helped shape our lives.

Chatty Crone said...

I call that a true friend. Someone you can trust and they can trust back. Sandie

shirl72 said...

Dick, Kat, Mother and Dad were
bench marks for me and no longer here. Kat was a good one we could talk about everything and I miss my Sister everyday.

Jackie said...

So thankful that you have had those 3 tremendous bench marks on your life.
This post touched me....

Mevely317 said...

Goodness, but you've given me something on which to ponder ...I think this is going to be a pleasant homework experiment, Jack.

Like Jackie, your words have touched me. Thank you!

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I hadn't thought of people as bench marks before, mostly I think of happenings like birthdays or anniversaries as bench marks. But when I think about it I have known a few people that have set the curve so to speak in the way I live my life. Just a little more snow here this morning. It really could stop anytime now. Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!

Louis la Vache said...

Robert Bourke helped design the '49 - '51 Fords. He then went to the Raymond Loewy team at Studebaker where he did much of the work on the '50 Studebakers. Although the '53-'54 Studebaker Starliners are often called the "Loewy Coupes", in fact, that fabulous design was almost 100% the work of Robert Bourke. «Louis» is happy to see the John Rinehart-designed Packard 300 in your montage... :-)