Friday, March 13, 2009

The other Shoe

I have started this blog entry three times today. Why is it when things are seemingly going pretty good, they take a set back.
I used to classify it to Sherry as waiting for the other shoe to fall. Sherry and I have fought through two sons who got deep into drugs. Months of personal anguish. Not knowing whether they would be in jail or the morgue. I have waited at the back door of the police station while the duty Sgt. Brings my son out, the one you remember who was as cute as could be. The one you thought you would never get potty trained. The one who made you proud with good grades. The one who was good at athletics. The one who had a wonderful sense of humor. That kid who could smile and melt your heart. The boy who could ride a motorcycle like the wind and win races. The boys who filled their rooms with family bowling trophies. The boys that sang in church and made you proud. You remember the first fish they caught and you helped bring it in. Yes that is the boy.
Now some Sergeant, who is working late, has worked with drunks and drug addicts all evening, and put up with all kinds of abuse, brings your lovely son out and hands him over to you, not saying it, but you can see it in his eyes, ‘Here, take this piece of $hit out of here’.
The boys over came that, became successful men, raising families. Everything is beautiful. Grand children to love and spoil. Little leagues games to go to again. School plays and soccer games. All is well with the world.
Now you can suffer through their hurt in a different way. DIVORCE. You feel their hurt, but you cannot fix it. You see them broken but you cannot make the repair the break. You just cry with them and hold them. That was one divorce. Then the next……. Now all is right with the world again.
Accusations, etc.. Another divorce, late in the boys life. They have everything, but the family is torn apart again….. You know, it doesn’t matter who is at fault, it hurts!
Then you wonder when will the hurt end? When will things settle down? When will you have peace of mind? Because your children are always your children. You still see the bright eyed youth, facing the world, ready and willing to attack.
We decided years ago, we will enjoy the good times as much as we can, because sure as heaven’s above another shoe will drop.
That is the way life is. We climb one mountain after another. This week a good friend climbed her last mountain. Tomorrow we will say good bye to her. The funeral is not for her, she is gone. It is for we that are left. Louise will rest in peace. Life will go on and we will try to live with peace.
Thanks for reading this true confession. I have learned that there are many lives much worse than ours, so I am glad to be alive. Here to share the good and the bad.
Nite Shipslog
Lets dance like no one is looking.
Live like we don’t have much time.
Love while we are alive.
Hope while we still have health.


Lucy said...

I guess I feel better knowing I am not the only ones that have kids and grandkids that have had problems. Not to many people admit it but me, I talk and I am not ashamed because I have done my best, just as I am sure you have. That is life and it is not all roses and if anyone thinks it is , I hope they are not lying to themselves but if that is the way for them to cope, so be it. Lucy

Sandra said...

I hope all the shoes have dropped for you and your family now and I pray mine have too, but I bet not.... Iam happy today!

Helen said...

I think once you have children the worry never ends. Helen

Paula said...

I admire your honesty. The two D's are I think the worse things in life and there doesn't seem to be anyway to stop them.

shirl72 said...

Jack think how far they have come. One Son will be singing a duet with me at Loiuse Funeral tomorrow while his son and your Grandson plays the piano. Can't get any better than that. Today Josh showed me a lot about the keyboard I have. Both boys have brilliant minds. I know it was a long road to this point.
But every one weathered the storm.


jack69 said...

I want to add a thanks to you guys for the comments, especially the girl who is about 75 feet from where I type now. Thanks Shirl. See you at the funeral tomorrow. I know you will sing well. Along with MY BOYS, ONE OF WHICH that has survived the two D's as Paula put it.

Randy said...

Hello Mr. Jack,

Thank you so much for your words and I pray God richly blesses you in the upcoming days and He continues strengthing you.

God Bless


Monica said...

Jack, you have me in tears! I could have written this about my youngest son, the one who was all that. The one that melts my heart and is struggling with a drinking problem, the one who is now facing a divorce, the one who has me in tears on a regular basis. He is hurting, and of course as a parent that hurts me. I just pray he makes it through this and through the next shoe that drops. A parents job is never truly over is it?


Debbie said...

Jack, I know this was extremely hard for you to write about because you are a private person when it comes to family, like I am. There will always be another shoe to drop while climbing those mountains. We take life one footstep at a time and hope for the best.


betty said...

thanks Jack for your honesty; I have a son who keeps me at the edge of my seat and on my knees a lot in prayer (he's 20; he's outgrowing some stuff but I think we still have 5 years of potential trouble). To know that your sons have come out of it to be successful men is good to know. I am sorry about divorces; that is always so hard. I do cling a lot to what I believe the Lord told me that he will be a prodigal and I do believe he will be used mightily by the Lord and that is my desire that he will be on fire for the Lord and sold out totally to him.

will keep you all in my prayers tomorrow as you honor Louise at her funeral

my pastor's wife from Montana said that with all the ups and downs with life that she learned to be so grateful and happy when there were good times and when the bad times came to just trust in the Lord and be grateful that there were those good times intermingled with the rough times; like what you said, all wise advice


Anonymous said...

aww Jack...and Sherry too...thanks for sharing this time in your life...and as parents...all we can do (and that is required of us) is to stand by our children...the good times and the bad...and all the in between times...I haven't shared about our family life as that will come a bit later in our blog...but believe has been no picnic...preacher family or not...none are exempt from the hurts and tragedies of what life deals to us....we can only give it all back to the Lord and say..I cannot handle this alone...but with YOU by my side we will get thru it day at a time!!! God Bless...hugs...Ora