Friday, August 10, 2018
Firsts and Cremation
Repeating Dell's Wisconsin
Before I attempt to write, I wanted to say that Jim, Shirl’s hubby’s oldest son Armin, and his wife Julie came down for a two day visit. We had a wonderful time. Armin had a chance to look over items related to his dad. Jim had been an officer in the Army stationed in Germany. He met and married the mother of Armin and Eric, his first wife.
I was glad to see Armin take his dad’s ‘Lieutenant’s bars’, NC State class ring, HS ring and wedding band. They left with a car loaded. Also leaving a sweet feeling with invites for us to come up and them back when they could.
While here he called Eric to send pictures of items he might be interested in. Eric said his daughter may want the dining room suite, but later called back saying ‘no.’
In our family Shirl was the first and only member to graduate High School. She married just out of HS to a boy from a respected family, but he was a ‘skirt chaser’, so therefore she suffered the FIRST ever divorce in our family.
Shirl was the first and only person in the family to marry a college grad (an Aerospace Engineer).
Shirl was the first and only member of our family to ‘drag-race’ legally (on a drag-strip, not on a city street, like her brothers) (She also won! Unlike her brothers)
She was the first in the family to live in a city.
NOW.. She has just been another FIRST. She is the first of our family to be Cremated. The first with no published obit, and the first with NO traditional funeral.
Both our sons wanted to be present at the spreading of the ashes. Amazing a 120lb lady is reduced to three pounds of ashes. She asked me to have them spread over her husband Jim’s grave.
It is recommended to spread ashes on a ‘windless’ day. This one started out that way. But a very bad storm came up as we approached the cemetery. Maybe Jim asked a favor, because just after was parked in the cemetery the rain and wind stopped and it was calm just long enough for son Mark to do the honor of spreading Shirley’s ashes.
I had time for a short talk with Shirl, she and Jim were busy catching up. I followed all her wishes… Well I did have to modify one. I tried to explain and asked her to check with Jim about it. She did and he agreed with me. Of course she still did not like it, but said it was OK (that is Shirl).
I still love you Shirley Maxine. I think she was thinking of me, and I appreciate it. Closing out another’s life is HARD, she made it easier on me. Thank you Shirley. So now I am going to apologize for locking the Hen house door while you were inside when I was 5 years old.
Yeah, I know it is my first apology, but I needed a FIRST.
Today officially wraps up Shirley Maxine Darnell Wrape’s life. Will is probated, funds dispersed, all debts paid and the ashes are spread. Shirley is gone but big sisters are never forgotten.
PS: Tomorrow 'Let's talk Cremation.'