Saturday, August 11, 2018

Shirley chose Cremation

Historical Photo:
I labeled this : Somewhere Wisconsin. I might have used it already!
Here goes: 

I love it (NOT) when I delete my own blog entries. LOL I was writing about Cremation. I am not sure if my parents ever discussed or considered it. Growing up I am sure Cremations were done, but not normally by Christians and especially down south.

Most of the reasons given for being ‘against’ cremation was, “It just don’t seem right!” We were raised with ‘wakes’, receiving’s and services with a casket down front. It seemed disrespectful to God’s creation.  Churches, towns and communities had cemeteries for hundreds of years.
Burial was reasonable, many times the plots in church cemeteries was basically free (or very cheap) to church members and family. Many people had no insurance for burial, therefore it had to be ‘affordable.’

I did not have a picture of Shirley as a HS Grad, but today I found one. Our first and only family grad.

With Shirl’s death the thought of cremation became real. At the funeral home the person we talked to was required to give us the ‘gory details’ of cremation. I could read the three pages or sign at the bottom. I read some then signed.

It told the average temp for cremation is 1400-1800 degrees F. It takes from 2 to 3 hours for the entire process.

Shirley weighed about 120 lbs. She was reduced to about 3 pounds of ashes. I picked up the ashes, they came in this neat plastic box.

You see a small disk, stamped with the number 4256 (We seem to always be a number). This disk was attached to the Plastic bag holding Shirley’s ashes. The box is 6” wide 4” high and about 8” deep. It came with this certification:

Emotions about cremation run high with some, and a ‘yawn’ from others. Opinions from: ‘It is devil worship’ (not said to me) to ‘This is practical in this day when standard funeral expenses would break many.’ In this area full funeral costs start at  $6000. I think the average is about $10,000  with service, family car and CD of the family pictures. That doesn’t include opening and closing your grave. In Charlotte that alone is $2000. Shirley's cremation was about $1800, actually high, but Shirley named the ones to do it.

I justified  following Shirley’s directions for cremation by saying NOT EVERYONE IS BURIED. We have lost people at sea where they became part of life cycle and eaten by sea creatures. We have had thousands of Christians burned at the stake or eaten by animals. Besides She requested Cremation. 

Me? I think the main part of my body is my soul. It cannot be destroyed. When my sweet sister was cremated, the soul was not there. I’m smiling remembering reading that at concerts, announcements were made such as: “Elvis has left the building.”  Therefore using the same logic, Shirl’s soul had departed the body 3 days before this actual cremation.

I will not argue the final process in handling the human body. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Sherry and I differ on the final disposal. I would prefer burial at sea, she says if she has a say-so I will be buried in Belmont, NC.

As far as her remains, if it is me that is left. She will be buried in Belmont, NC. 

If you have an opinion different than mine, state it. I can handle it. ;-)

Nite Shipslog

 Now, if you don't like this customized Mercury, you ain't cool!  You should be decimated instead of cremated!  LOL


Jean said...

Jack as you know Grover was cremated. I don't think it to be a wrong thing to do. It is much cheaper. I did pay more since I went through the funeral home and had a memorial service. It is comforting to know he is still here with me if he is in a box. I did buy a beautiful box for his ashes. I ask about the cost of a plot to bury our ashes when I pass away and he told me it would be $1000. a plot not sure if I would have to buy two. (Shawn thought so) I'm planning on talking with them more about this. Prayers for Rick, Sheila and the Yarbrough family Rick’s dad passed away this morning. Love to you and Sherry.

betty said...

I love Shirl's graduation picture!

We're thinking cremation here. To me, I just don't want to spend the money to get buried. But who knows what will happen when the time comes for the one that is left to make the final decisions(unless we pre-plan something).


Rick Watson said...

I’m not sure I trust someone who doesn’t LOVE that Mercury:)

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I think it's terrible they charge as much as they do to be buried. I'm with you...our soul departs and what is left is the body. Hopefully we'll all be in a much better place and those left behind have to deal with the details.

Mevely317 said...

What a thoughtful post! My former husband chose cremation/burial at sea (Neptune Society).

I suppose you could have called me a 'careless Christian' … I'd never heard a disparaging comment about cremation. I will never EVER forget the December night in '81 when my mother asked my Uncle Lu (Lutheran pastor), if he believed cremating his brother (my dad) was "OK with the Church?"

Lately I've become aware of - and like the option of 'becoming a tree' --

While I've not discussed it with Tom or my son, I chronicled that as my choice. Better that I (er, a tree) live on in a pretty park, a memorial forest … even son's back yard than in a lonesome cemetery waiting for loved ones to visit.

Shirley's graduation photo is so lovely! Like others have said, I appreciate your sharing her with us.

Chatty Crone said...

I can still see SHirley in her eyes.
I always wonder if it is Christian to be cremated.
We really have no choice. It would be about 15-20K each. And I think that is a sin and we don't have it.
We talk a lot about it. And when a person is burned in a fire - I am sure they go to Heaven - if they are Christians.
So that is what we are going to do.
Then we do have a plot - we will put a marker with both our names and dates for genealogy purposes - we have already paid for it.
We are leaving our ashes to Kelly.
There are cheaper places than 1800 here - so we will go there and then maybe have a memorial at church - who know. Who cares as long as I am with Jesus.
May i ask you a question? My brother was cremated - probably twice the size of you sister. I looked in his box and they were bone chips not ashes at all. I was wondering is that what your found? I ask this because people act like spreading ashes is easy - but spreading bone chips not so easy.
We bury my brothers cremation.
Sorry to ask so many questions.
What do you believe Jack - cremation or not?

Lisa said...

I'm not against cremation but I do have a funny feeling about it. But, If it helps the family financially then just go ahead and deep fry me. I'm like you and know It is only a body while my soul will be in heaven. That's all that matters. However, I have made a request that I do not want to be put inside a wall!!!